Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 31
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Bowral, NSW, Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    28

    Default Will I know the answers by 60?

    Below are listed some mysteries of life that I don't understand. Perhaps I will know the answers by the time I am 60??

    1) Why does washing need to be done only on a Saturday even when the last 3 Saturdays have been raining?

    2) Why do work shirts need to be ironed even when they are only worn around the yard for doing mowing etc?

    3) Why does a TV have to be run on the lowest possible sound level when us old bu&^%ers admit to having hearing loss?

    4) Why is verandah decking and outdoor furniture not allowed to be oiled? Is natural patina that important?

    5) How is it possible to cut back a hedge to half its size and leave it with as much coverage as you started with?

    6) Why can't you use a bathroom for 2 hours after it has been cleaned and a toilet for big jobs for 5 hours?

    If you know the answers to any of the above, I acknowledge with respect the experience in life that you have had.

    Carry Pine

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Age
    84
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Carry, don't ask for an answer on all these questions, life is to short, so enjoy life, make fun.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    183

    Default solution(s) all female

    Women are the cause of all problems.

    Solutions can't be found

    Just as we can't understand the big bang, with women, you've just got to make the best of it and try to live with imponderables.

    Greg

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Conder, ACT
    Age
    77
    Posts
    4,213

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Carry Pine View Post
    Below are listed some mysteries of life that I don't understand. Perhaps I will know the answers by the time I am 60??

    1) Why does washing need to be done only on a Saturday even when the last 3 Saturdays have been raining?
    Who washes on a Saturday.

    2) Why do work shirts need to be ironed even when they are only worn around the yard for doing mowing etc?
    What! Some one still has an iron.

    3) Why does a TV have to be run on the lowest possible sound level when us old bu&^%ers admit to having hearing loss?
    I get the controller. I set the sound level even when others cringe against the back wall.

    4) Why is verandah decking and outdoor furniture not allowed to be oiled? Is natural patina that important?
    I am too lazy to oil it.

    5) How is it possible to cut back a hedge to half its size and leave it with as much coverage as you started with?
    Who cuts a hedge. Let it be natural. See point 4.

    6) Why can't you use a bathroom for 2 hours after it has been cleaned and a toilet for big jobs for 5 hours?
    Who said. If you gotta go the go.

    If you know the answers to any of the above, I acknowledge with respect the experience in life that you have had.

    Carry Pine

    edit : Forgot to add. Damn I am past 60......

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Bowral, NSW, Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    28

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Greg Ward View Post
    Women are the cause of all problems.

    Solutions can't be found

    Just as we can't understand the big bang, with women, you've just got to make the best of it and try to live with imponderables.

    Greg
    Please note that I did not mention gender anywhere!

    CP

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Greg Ward View Post
    Women are the cause of all problems.

    Solutions can't be found

    Just as we can't understand the big bang, with women, you've just got to make the best of it and try to live with imponderables.

    Greg
    Dear Oh dear Greg.

    Bad day at the office?
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    183

    Default OK women have some positives but.....

    Gender has nothing to do with problem solving or problem generation.

    It's a simple fact that the female of the species, in all species causes problems:

    Spiders. The females in some types kill and eat their partners

    Grasshoppers. They eat the heads off the male during sex

    Dogs. No fights at the park unless you get two females there at one time (dogs that is)

    Humans. Check Carry's concerns. No more needs to be said

    Ants. You have the whole nest catering to one queen

    Bees: as above


    I could go on and on, but we are trying to solve monumental problems here for Carry and I just think that focus is needed on where the problems originate

    Greg

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Oh! well!! If its important.......

    But I think you are distracted from the main issues. There seems to be a problem of timing. Maybe a extra pair of undies would mean that washing could be done on Sunday. Thats one problem solved.
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    183

    Default female solutions

    You see Ms Tea Lady, if it weren't for females, the problem wouldn't exist..... for if there were no females, we wouldn't need undies

    Greg

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oberon, NSW
    Age
    64
    Posts
    0

    Default

    From what I have seen, by 70 you'll have the life experience to find all the answers.

    Unfortunately, by then you'll have forgotten the questions!
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Melbourne, Aus.
    Age
    71
    Posts
    0

    Default

    .... and make new friends every day ;-}
    Cheers, Ern

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Armadale
    Posts
    887

    Default

    Here are one or two possible answers

    Washing is traditionally done on monday, this i think had somthing to do bathing traditionaly done on sunday when the boiler was lit.

    ironing work clothes, because our anglcan ethics says all workers must be clean and tidy or they must be bad workers. even if its the overworked 19th century housewife who had to do the ironing.

    oiling deck, maybe past experience of last time you did it, (sticky dusty mess)

    re bathroom because cleaning it is a hated chore and its nice to savour the sparkling cleaness for at least two hours.

    Astrid

    PS I do none of the above, if HWMNBO needs an ironed shirt, he can iron it himself

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Greg Ward View Post
    You see Ms Tea Lady, if it weren't for females, the problem wouldn't exist..... for if there were no females, we wouldn't need undies

    Greg
    I don't know about that. The tools might get tangled.
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    North Of The Boarder
    Age
    68
    Posts
    0

    Default

    I suggest a book Ëverything a Man wants to know about a woman"

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    183

    Default loose tools

    I think the cold breeze assists here; but we'll never know as we'll never have the chance to test your theory; there are just so many females on the planet....
    In fact in Australia they outnumber males....but not in this forum.

    Noting the superabundance of males in the forum, I think some of computer dating services could be shortly making a bid for the start up of a lonly hearts thread section, which will allow females entry into men's shed all over.
    That will be interesting
    Regards
    Greg

Similar Threads

  1. Smart **** Answers
    By MajorPanic in forum NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH RENOVATION
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12th July 2005, 06:59 PM
  2. Seeking answers
    By Iain in forum JOKES
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 21st December 2004, 09:32 PM
  3. Irish Quiz answers
    By Geoff Dean in forum JOKES
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11th May 2004, 02:29 PM
  4. Honest Answers
    By outback in forum JOKES
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 17th March 2004, 06:53 PM
  5. Answers
    By Baz in forum JOKES
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 16th February 2004, 07:51 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •