Embarrassing First Date
>
> This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays... This
> was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7, 1999. Jay went
> into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a
> woman ever had.
>
> The winner described her worst first date experience. There was
> absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
> She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
> taken her skiing.
>
> It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all,
> and truly had never met before.
> The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed
> home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain
> when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had
> that extra latte.
>
> They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in
> the middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it,
> which she did for a while.
>
> Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came
> a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee
> beside the road,or it would be the front seat of his car. They
> stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down
> and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good
> footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady
herself.
>
> Her companion stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and
> indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.
>
> All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
> embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she
> soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her
> pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
> against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles
> immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the
> icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to
> the extreme cold.
>
> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her
> date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that
> indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!
>
> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
> then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
> too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
> they assessed her dilemma.
>
> Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced
> with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
> chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had
gotten
> her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that
> there was only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way,
her
> first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the
> fender.
>
> Rescue accomplished, they returned to the car although for the
> remainder of the trip home there wasn't much conversation and
> apparently, despite their "intimate encounter," the two did not see
> one another again.
>
> As for the Tonight Show...she took the prize hands down...or
> perhaps hat should be "pants down." And you thought your first
> date was embarrassing... whole new definition of being " off"