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Thread: the rabbit

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    nw coast tasmania
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    Default the rabbit

    A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of
    beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?". The barman is amazed but gives the
    rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks
    the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

    The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer
    and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit
    and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the
    rabbit the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

    The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint
    of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman". The crowd is
    hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then
    burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

    The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been
    laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more
    money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and
    says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman",
    smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, "I'm
    sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and
    Cheese Toasties".
    The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper,
    when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very
    nice Cheese and Onion Toastie".

    The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it?"
    The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

    The barman, with a roguish smile says "Do you think that I would let
    down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it". "Ok" says the
    rabbit," I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie". The
    pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the
    toastie, he then waves to the crowd and leaves.........NEVER TO
    RETURN!!!!!!

    One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has
    only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he
    is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating
    above the bar. The barman says, "Who are you" To which he is answered,
    "I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house".

    The barman says, "I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in
    every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses
    came to see you and this place was famous" The rabbit says, "Yes I
    know".
    The barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham
    and Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead" The rabbit
    said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it". The barman said "You
    never came back, what happened?"

    "I DIED", said the Rabbit.

    "NO!" said the barman,"what from".

    After a short pause. The rabbit said...



    "Mixin'-me-toasties".

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    South Oz, the big smokey bit in the middle
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    Default

    Okay, explain to me why you shouldn't served up as a side dish at the next meet and greet :mad: That's almost as bad as my worst effort

    Richard

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Location
    Perth,Western Australia.
    Posts
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    Default

    Yeah, love,em
    "shaggy dog stories"

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    East Bentleigh, Melbourne, Vic
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    Default

    Terrible

  5. #5
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    Over there a bit
    Age
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    Default

    Shocker
    Boring signature time again!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    East Geelong
    Age
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by goat

    "I DIED", said the Rabbit.

    "NO!" said the barman,"what from".

    After a short pause. The rabbit said...



    "Mixin'-me-toasties".
    Which reminds me of the story of the publican who had a dog named Rover Rover was a real character and all the regulars loved him. He did tricks and was always entertaining.
    One sad day, Rover died and the pub was in mourning. It just wasn't the same without him. One day one of the locals suggested they have awhip round and have him stuffed and mounted in a case. However, times were hard and when they told the taxidermist how much they had collected, he laughed.
    "That would just about pay for the tail!" he said, so they said "O.K.! Do that. just mount the tail on a plaque and we'll hang it in the bar"
    The taxidermist duly did just that and everyone would raise a glass to old Rover as they drank.
    Some years passed and one night, the publican was going to bed when he saw a ghostly apparition.
    "What's that?" he cried, but the ghost replied, "Don't you recognise me? I am Rover, your old mate"
    "What are you doing here?" the landlord said, "You ought to be in doggy heaven!"
    "That's the problem" he replied " they won't let me in. They say I am not complete; I'm missing a tail"
    "Well I don't know what we can do about that." said his master.
    "Well I do" said Rover, "The tail is downstairs on the wall. Why don't you just sew it back on? I'm sure they won't notice."
    The landlord looked shocked.
    "Rover!" he said, "You know me better than that! I've always been a good publican!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    You know I can't re-tail spirits at this time of night!"
    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again-- then give up.
    It's no use bashing your head against a wall!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    nw coast tasmania
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    Default

    now that is bad

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