ALCOHOL WARNING:
Due to increasing products liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers.

Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
wanker.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your trousers.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and or name you can't remember)
Warning : Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones
appearing in your home.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
Warning : Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.