Just to stress THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME, not yet anyway

[fenderbelly]

It could happen to any of us... This is so funny; I hope you enjoy it.

$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see whohe was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only$4.68" he saidcheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I walked back to my truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind!

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus:
The car seat in the back seat. >>
Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. >>
A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alienvehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"?At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too oldto be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

[Cliff Rogers]

[Grumpy John]

I've lost count of the times I've left my glasses in restaurants, I also have a habit of leaving the last bag of groceries at the supermarket register .
I do enjoy lying on the couch with a blankey though .

[Ozkaban]

I do enjoy lying on the couch with a blankey though .

Nuttin wrong with that...and I'm 35

[damian]

Can't be that bad, you found the car, the food, the keys eventually and it sounds like you got home without getting lost. Me I can get lost in my front yard...

Recliner and double bed dooner, and a bank of radio controls or whatever they call those things.

Your only as old as the wo....

[Terry B]

Very good.

[Allan at Wallan]

Nice one Fred.

Allan

[rrich]

I had a new job across the country from where we lived. I drove across the country and stayed with a friend while starting my new job. After 5 weeks, the training classes were open and I flew back across the country to my home for a holiday weekend. Then on to the classes about 1000 K north. I settled into a company provided apartment for the next 5 weeks. For some stupid reason I was still carrying the keys for the car that SWMBO was driving and my own which was on the other side of the country. (4000 K)

When I arrived, I rented a car and was using that as local transportation. After about four weeks of school and the last Sunday in town I went to my usual place for breakfast. I had my usual breakfast and was going out to the place where my classes were being held to finish some class work.

I walked out of the restaurant and without thinking took the keys for SWMBO's car out of my pocket, unlocked the door of the car in the parking lot, slid in and almost started the car. While the key would turn in the ignition, there were no baby shoes hanging from the mirror. Here I am sitting in the identical make and model with the same paint as SWMBO's car with a key that works. Just one slight problem, the car wasn't SWMBO's.

Naturally, I exited the car, got into my rental car and left.

One of the more scary automotive adventures of my life. Thank goodness for baby shoes.

[Cliff Rogers]

You should have left a note on the dash asking what happened to the baby shoes.

[rrich]

You should have left a note on the dash asking what happened to the baby shoes.

But only you and I would understand.

[Cliff Rogers]

But just think how it would 'weird them out' wondering how it got there?

[issatree]

Hi Fred,

Brilliant ?
Went & bought Petrol Tues., went to pay, uhh, no wallet.