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Results 1 to 15 of 26
Thread: Getting old
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12th December 2006, 07:46 AM #1
Getting old
I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I
got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.
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A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do
you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to
the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband?"
"Ninety-eight," she replied. "Two years older than I am."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, isn't it?"
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I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thankfully, I still have my
driver's license.
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had
two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted
her ashes scattered over K-Mart. "K-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why
K-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as
it used to be.
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Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.
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29th January 2007, 02:19 PM #2Retired member
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29th January 2007, 02:31 PM #3rrich Guest
The older you get, the further away the floor.
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29th January 2007, 02:34 PM #4
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29th January 2007, 02:59 PM #5
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You poor old buggers.
I am fitter now than when I saw in my early 20's.
Al
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29th January 2007, 03:27 PM #6
thats what I said at 51....now = diabetes, riddled with bloody arthritis, going blind in 1 eye, deaf in right ear, chronic hip pain (prolly means a replacement), seized left ankle, severe depression (pills for rest of life), chronic sinusitis, 2 useless arms.
Big change in 5 years. It all went downhill when I gave up smoking.. you work it out...If you never made a mistake, you never made anything!
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29th January 2007, 03:35 PM #7
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29th January 2007, 03:52 PM #8
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29th January 2007, 03:53 PM #9
Registered
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29th January 2007, 03:54 PM #10
CRAFT disease:
Can't
Remember
A
F-ing
Thing
Retired member
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29th January 2007, 03:55 PM #11
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29th January 2007, 03:58 PM #12
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29th January 2007, 04:18 PM #13
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29th January 2007, 06:09 PM #14If you never made a mistake, you never made anything!
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30th January 2007, 10:17 AM #15
Join the Club !
p.t.c