Getting old

[bennylaird]

I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I
got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my
leotards on, the class was over.

----------

A reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do
you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

----------

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

----------

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to
the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your
husband?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied. "Two years older than I am."

"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, isn't it?"

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I've sure gotten old. I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and
new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, and take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember
if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thankfully, I still have my
driver's license.

----------

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had
two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted
her ashes scattered over K-Mart. "K-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why
K-Mart?"

"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."

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My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as
it used to be.

----------

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.

[Felder]

[rrich]

The older you get, the further away the floor.

[Big Shed]

The older you get, the further away the floor.

And the shorter your arms.

[ozwinner]

You poor old buggers.

I am fitter now than when I saw in my early 20's.

Al

[Shedhand]

You poor old buggers.

I am fitter now than when I saw in my early 20's.

Al

thats what I said at 51....now = diabetes, riddled with bloody arthritis, going blind in 1 eye, deaf in right ear, chronic hip pain (prolly means a replacement), seized left ankle, severe depression (pills for rest of life), chronic sinusitis, 2 useless arms.
Big change in 5 years. It all went downhill when I gave up smoking.. you work it out...

[Big Shed]

You poor old buggers.

I am fitter now than when I saw in my early 20's.

Al

That's what you reckon, sounds to me you are already suffering from CRAFT disease

[ozwinner]

That's what you reckon, sounds to me you are already suffering from CRAFT disease

I have no idea what it is, but it gave me a laugh..

Al

[ozwinner]

It all went downhill when I gave up smoking.. you work it out...

The ciggys were a preservative, take up smoking again.

Al

[Felder]

CRAFT disease:

Can't
Remember
A
F-ing
Thing

[Big Shed]

I have no idea what it is, but it gave me a laugh..

Al

Can't Remember A F*****g Thing.

[Felder]

[Felder]

[Shedhand]

The ciggys were a preservative, take up smoking again.

Al

You're probably right Al. I keep trying to convince myself that its the 35 years sucking the things into my lungs thats done it but I can breathe wonderfully. Fat lot of good healthy lungs are when the rest is stuffed. I'm gonna have a damn whisky..

[ptc]

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