A Party of Famous Physicists

[Dr_Dewey]

A Party of Famous Physicists
One day, all of the world's famous physicists decided to get together for a tea luncheon. Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests...

Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
Cavendish wasn't invited, but he had the balls to show up anyway.
Cauchy, being the only mathematician there, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
Volt thought the social had a lot of potential.
Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
Wien radiated a colourful personality.
Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
Hollerith liked the hole idea.
Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
Oppenheimer got bombed.

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[silentC]

I reckon the Philosopher's party was more fun:

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel.

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently p1ssed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's p1ssed.

[Termite]

You two blokes had better duck as this all goes flying over the head of most.

[DaveInOz]

not a python fan termite?

no mention of bruce from the biology department but still a clasic

[LineLefty]

I studied David Hume while doing my economics degree. I would appreciate it if you wouldnt make me relive those intolerably boring part of my life!

[Termite]

not a python fan termite?

no mention of bruce from the biology department but still a clasic

Love 'em, got nearly all on DVD, my comment was meant about a lot of people not getting the connection with the names.

[Iain]

no mention of bruce from the biology department

Or the sheep dip
And what was the story about philosophy in a womens prison, 'Putting De Whores before Descartes'.