Imagine Doorstop as a Farmer

[waco]

A while back there was this farmer and his wife that lived out in the backblocks of Victoria.
They were just sitting down to tea one night, when they heard this racket comming from over behind the cowshed, when the farmer went to see what was going on he found a couple of aliens and a spaceship had landed next to his vegie patch.
When they saw the farmer, the male alien ( I said male because even though they were both bald, the other was obviously a very well developed female) apologised for disturbing him and explained that they were having some technical dificulties with the ship and as soon as they fixed it they would be gone and no-one would even know that they were ever there.
The farmer having already had a few beers while waiting for dinner was feeling a bit sociable, so he told them that since he and the wife were just about to have dinner the aliens might as well join them and after tea he would give them a hand to fix their ship since he had a well equiped workshop there on the farm.
So they're sitting there having dinner and discussing the differences between life on Mars and Earth, and the farmers wife asks what they do for entertainment on mars. The Martian explains that it is a lot like Earth, they have movies, sports, theatre and after dinner games like trivial pursuit and even wife swapping.
"Wife swapping, thats different", says the farmer, looking at the female alien.
"It's quite enjoyabe really", the alien says "Would you be interested?."
The farmer looks at his wife, "What do you think?"
"Well I suppose it would be alright" she says " they'll be gone and no-one even knows that they are here so it will be a secret"
So the wife takes the male alien into the bedroom and they're getting undressed for the big event, when she looks down and sees the smallest penis in her life and sighs in dissapointment.
"whats wrong " asks the alien
"It's a bit small" she sighs
"Oh thats not a problem" he says, and tugs on his left ear at which his penis starts getting longer.
"How's that?" he says when it reaches 9 inches
"Much better " she says "But it's still really skinny"
He tugs on his right ear a bit and it gets thicker until he has a truly magnificent rod on him, the wifes eyes light up and they're into it.
The next morning the aliens fix their spaceship and leave, and the farmer and his wife sit down to a cuppa and his wife asks him how he liked last night.
"Well I dont know much about sex on Mars but I wasn't impressed" he said "All night she looked miserable and kept tugging on my ears"







Apologies to Doorstop, But from what I've seen everyone has a shot at you so I thought I had better try blending in with the crowd

[ozwinner]

No need to apologise Waco, Doorstop cant hear you, his misses has been tugging his ears for so long that they are swollen shut.
Cheers, Allan

[waco]

Lucky I own sunglasses