I am confused and need some advice from the woodworking women

[Phil Spencer]

Presently my wife is in a pain rehabilitation clinic noticing that she looked as if she was feeling left out about what was happening in my life I decided to leave a letter with her clean laundry. In this letter I fill her in about what is happening at home and also I include some other touchy feely stuff that men don't usually talk about.

This seemed to cheer her up no end and I think has and will help with her rehabilitation. The strange thing is that when I walk into the hospital now I notice the nurses looking at me, smiling and generally giggling and pointing and talking about me behind my back, I am wondering if they have seen these letters (my wife calls them love letters) or if it was the kilo of Belgium chocolates that I left at the nurses station with my business card to thank them for looking after my wife.

Have I broken the men's code by writing these letters and leaving the chocolates for the nurses, what am I to do? I am so confused. Maybe the Wood Whispering Women on the forum can help?

BTW if you google 'causealga' and 'pain sensitisation' it will explain my wife's condition.

Regards

Phil

[jaspr]

Hi Phil

I really have no idea why they might be doing this, other than that they have noticed your acts of kindness and find it so rare they need to talk about it amongst themselves.

Anyway, don't be put off. If it helps your wife, keep it up, even if it makes you feel awkward. Mention it to your wife, maybe. As she's closer to the action she might understand it better.

(Just a thought - this might be similar to how I feel when I walk into a male dominated timber yard and start asking odd questions. I get more than a few strange looks and feel very out of place sometimes.)

Hope your wife's pain gets better and she can get home quickly.

[Gingermick]

Have I broken the men's code by writing these letters

Goodonya. Overcoming the male ego is a fantastic thing (and something which I hope to achieve)
I hope your wife is able to to get some relief from what looks a very unpleasant condition.

[Phil Spencer]

Hi Phil

I really have no idea why they might be doing this, other than that they have noticed your acts of kindness and find it so rare they need to talk about it amongst themselves.

Anyway, don't be put off. If it helps your wife, keep it up, even if it makes you feel awkward. Mention it to your wife, maybe. As she's closer to the action she might understand it better.

(Just a thought - this might be similar to how I feel when I walk into a male dominated timber yard and start asking odd questions. I get more than a few strange looks and feel very out of place sometimes.)

Hope your wife's pain gets better and she can get home quickly.

Thanks for the kind thoughts Jaspr, we are into a four week stint have one under our belts and three to go, I was that lonely the other night I put her PJ's around a pillow in bed (now I am getting all touchy and feely and breaking the Men's code). needles to say the woodwork has been put on the back burner prioritise I suppose. What my wife is suffering from is a life long condition and there will be flare-ups. After 35 years together we thought that life was just starting to get good, have to change our definition of good.

Regards
Phil

[Phil Spencer]

Goodonya. Overcoming the male ego is a fantastic thing (and something which I hope to achieve)
I hope your wife is able to to get some relief from what looks a very unpleasant condition.

Thanks Gingermick we have a lot to learn about pain management.

Regards

Phil

[tea lady]

Don't worry about the nurses talking about you. They are just jealous and wish they could find one like you too. I think your letter idea is gorgeous. Keep doing it. And I hope you told your wife about the PJs too.Maybe you could give her a pair of your PJs for her pillow too. (Maybe not.) Here's to breaking the mens code.

[DavidG]

Mens code does not exclude caring for SWMBO in any way that is possible.
Real men care.

[Phil Spencer]

Don't worry about the nurses talking about you. They are just jealous and wish they could find one like you too. I think your letter idea is gorgeous. Keep doing it. And I hope you told your wife about the PJs too.Maybe you could give her a pair of your PJs for her pillow too. (Maybe not.) Here's to breaking the mens code.

Told her about the PJ's and she cried don't know what I did wrong, the letters have also done the trick her spirits are up and I think it will make the next three weeks easier and the rehabilitation more effective, I have just got home from the hospital and she definitely seemed happier. Can't give her my PJ's still wearing them.

Mens code does not exclude caring for SWMBO in any way that is possible.
Real men care.

Woohoo I think that I have finally grown up.

[Tex B]

Phil,

Sounds like you have a really beautiful relationship. I'm sure you've worked hard at loving each other for many years. Reading this thread brought tears to this "real man's" eyes.

Keep it up, mate. The notes, the chats, the PJs, the chocolates. If you have some flowers in your garden you can take her a few. Chicks dig all that stuff

God bless.

Tex

[Phil Spencer]

Phil,

Sounds like you have a really beautiful relationship. I'm sure you've worked hard at loving each other for many years. Reading this thread brought tears to this "real man's" eyes.

Keep it up, mate. The notes, the chats, the PJs, the chocolates. If you have some flowers in your garden you can take her a few. Chicks dig all that stuff

God bless.

Tex

Flowers? that's a good Idea.

[tea lady]

Flowers? that's a good Idea.

...from your own garden. That's a really good idea. If no flowers some interesting leaves if you have any. Failing that how about a pot of bulbs. Plant them in the garden when she gets home and they can be hospital anniversary bulbs.

[pugwash]

Nurses will generally eat as many chocolates as they can get their hands on. Hopefully your wife will recover before you run out of cash to buy them with.

Just a word about flowers. Watch out what colours you give your wife. If you put red and white flowers on their own in a vase, the nurses go mental and start rushing about panicking, flapping their arms and generally behaving in an un-Nightingalish manner !

[Phil Spencer]

...from your own garden. That's a really good idea. If no flowers some interesting leaves if you have any. Failing that how about a pot of bulbs. Plant them in the garden when she gets home and they can be hospital anniversary bulbs.

Bulbs are a nice idea but they won't allow any thing in dirt into a hospital something about Legionella, There is a wholesale flower outlet near me get really fresh flowers that last a long time think i will do that roses come to mind.

[tea lady]

Bulbs are a nice idea but they won't allow any thing in dirt into a hospital something about Legionella, There is a wholesale flower outlet near me get really fresh flowers that last a long time think i will do that roses come to mind.

No dirt. What about one of those hyacynth bulds they grow above water? Oh well. Any flowers will prolly do the job. You and your wife are in my thoughts. Look after yourself too.

[Phil Spencer]

No dirt. What about one of those hyacynth bulds they grow above water? Oh well. Any flowers will prolly do the job. You and your wife are in my thoughts. Look after yourself too.

Thanks very much Tea Lady, this means a lot to me. I notice that you live up the hill from me. If you ever need to use a machine let me know.