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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    North Of The Boarder
    Age
    68
    Posts
    0

    Default Because I'm a man...

    Because I'm a man...

    Because I'm a man
    , when I lock my keys in the car, I will
    Fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
    Calling the NRMA is not an option... I WILL win.
    ______________________________________________

    Because I'm a man
    , when the car isn't running very well,
    I will pop the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know what
    I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say
    To the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now
    With all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know
    Where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and
    Break wind, as a form of holy communion.
    _______________________________________________

    Because I'm a man
    , when I catch a cold, I need someone
    To bring me soup and take care of me tenderly while I lie in bed
    And moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do. So,
    For you, this is no problem.
    _______________________________________________

    Because I'm a man
    , I can be relied upon to purchase basic

    Groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be

    Expected to find things like exotic cheeses or tofu. For all
    I know, they are the same thing.

    _______________________________________________

    Because I'm a man
    , when one of our appliances stops

    Working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that

    This will just cost me twice as much once the repair person

    Gets here and has to put it back together.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man
    , I must hold the television remote

    Control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been

    Misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it... Though

    One time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....

    (Applies to engineers mainly).
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man
    , there is no need to ask me what I'm

    Thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,

    Sex, sports, or sex. I have to make up something else when

    You ask, so don't ask.
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man
    , I do not want to visit your mother, or

    Have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she

    Calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever

    You got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.

    And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
    _______________________________________________

    Because I'm a man
    , you don't have to ask me if I liked the

    Movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
    And, if you're feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly
    Remember the name and recommend it to
    others.
    _______________________________________________

    Because I'm a man
    , I think what you're wearing is fine.
    I
    thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
    Too... Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it.
    Everything
    looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
    Can we just go now?
    _______________________________________________
    Because I'm a man
    , and this is, after all, the year 2010. I

    Will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,

    The cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,

    And I'll do the rest.... Like wandering around in the garden

    With a beer in my hand, wondering what to do.


    (This has been a public service message for women To
    better understand men.)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Darkest NSW
    Posts
    93

    Default

    I think that covers everything....

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Avoca Victoria
    Age
    81
    Posts
    7,790

    Default

    Ray I suppose you're over any form of intimacy from the opposite sex ??

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    SW Sydney
    Age
    75
    Posts
    12

    Default

    Wait til Tea Lady reads this one!!!!!
    Betta book Simplicity now - save time
    Androgens Order
    Forgive your enemies, but never, ever forget their names.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but never forget.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    North Of The Boarder
    Age
    68
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by watson View Post
    Ray I suppose you're over any form of intimacy from the opposite sex ??

    ......................UNLESS of course she reads this

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