Neanderkid

[Groggy]

I was chopping up some firewood when my 12 y.o. son asked for a piece of wood "to play with" - "sure, no problem". Off he goes to the shop and pulls out the Disston 7 tpi crosscut, clamps the log in the vice and proceeds to do a rip cut down the 10-12" length of it. At this point I am restraining myself and think "take thyself inside", which I do.

Watching through the kitchen window, I see him cut four roughly square sides then stop, seemingly unsure of what to do next. By now, unable to restrain myself, I rush out and grab the highly polished and scary-sharp #4 bailey. He looks daunted now, the shiny plane is one of dad's prize possessions - and he knows it. I explain how to use it, "go with the force young Doug" I say, and he does. Little wispy trails begin to appear and I watch his confidence build. Firmer strokes, long sweeping strokes that produced nice even shavings; here I go back inside to watch again.

He now has a sweat up and is still experimenting with the plane, adjusting the depth of cut here, trying against the grain there, getting the thinnest possible shavings and feeding them to shop-dog. He bevels all the sides at 45 deg then flattens the block again, stopping to go inside the shop and get a square to test his work. This continues until he's left with a 3/4 inch dowel that is hard to clamp in the vice. What a way to spend an hour, just watching.

I saw his first steps as a baby, but I think most parents could have described that feeling to me and I would have understood what they meant. It's a much more select audience that could describe, or understand, the feeling of watching their child get 'hooked' on a hobby that gives them pleasure too. That look of being totally absorbed while he planed, up to his knees in curlies, will be a moment I won't forget in a hurry, and it's nice to know he appreciates the hand tools - not just the pow-whirrr tailed stuff.

When I put away the plane later on I noticed a few scratches from the vice where he'd obviously got a bit closer than intended. Normally this would not be a good thing, but today I figure it's better than having a photograph. My tool now has an indelible memory of a special moment of my son's life engraved into it, something I will recall each time I use it and look at the marks.

Most of my tools tell a story of some kind, from a dark bloodstain on a chisel, to missing chunks in my workbench. These scratches will now have a special meaning to me, able to be "read" only by me, a photo would not convey the full memory like the scratches will - does this make sense?

We need moments like this, every now and again, to make the world right.

[RETIRED]

It was a lousy joke.

[Groggy]

It was a lousy joke.

It seems you know where to put it, so no further comment from me is required!

Filing was never my forte anyway...

[Redback]

So your saying it might not be so bad having kids after all...

My wife and I still aren't convinced.

We intend to have one oneday, we assume the parental instincts will kick in...

At the moment, when we have other peoples babies and kids around, they seem like an incredible burden on your time and lifestyle.

At the moment, we can pretty much do what we want, when we want. We can afford to go on holidays (ski-ing NZ last year and already booked for this year).
I can afford to buy 'toys' without having too much worry...

Problem is we are not getting any younger, so its probably going to have to be sooner rather than later. It just doesnt seem right too just have kids because of a feel of having too....

Any of you fathers out their have these kind of doubts... anyone out their regretted having kids either too young or too old, or having them at all?.

Interested to hear peoples responses...

Bit off the woodworking track though...

[Wood Borer]

What a great first step. you have done well.

Having kids is a worthwhile experience but of course not without it's moments.

Keep the enthusiasm going.

[Groggy]

So your saying it might not be so bad having kids after all...

My wife and I still aren't convinced.

With time and maturity I found that I get more enjoyment from the kids than my previous pursuits. In my opinion, parents tend to live their lives vicariously through their kids - and enjoy it every bit as much as what they had before.

Any of you fathers out their have these kind of doubts... anyone out their regretted having kids either too young or too old, or having them at all?.

Interested to hear peoples responses...

Bit off the woodworking track though...

I wish I'd had my kids earlier, and I suspect most fathers and mothers would agree. Parental maturity helps with the child's development though, and your own ability to be tolerant of them trying to experiment with all the ideas we did as kids.

[Wongo]

That’s beautiful mate. Just ignore .

Another thing makes me so proud is my daughter thinks I can fix everything. I love it when she says “Daddy can you fix it for me please”. Yes she is right, I am very good at putting Barbie’s head and body back together.

[Daddles]

Hmm. My lad's 12. He goes out into the shed to get his fishing gear or to ask if he can go visit one of his ratbag mates seeing I'm too busy building boats to play with him.

Like his Mouseboat. He helped build it, then lost interest. Had to twist his arm to take it up the river. Didn't want to learn to row - too hard or something. Then he climbed into the thing, got the oars working, and spent four hours in it. Ya can't pick em.

I know when my kids are having me on - I can predict them.

Cheers
Richard

[bitingmidge]

Another nice story Groggy, nearly made the midges eyes water, which is a bit of a bugger if you don't have eyelids!

Any of you fathers out their have these kind of doubts... anyone out their regretted having kids either too young or too old, or having them at all?.

Redback,
When my second was born, my eldest was exactly two years old and I was standing at the hospital with my old man watching this new red moving thing through the nursery window, with the eldest crawling around doing two year old stuff.

I remarked to my old man that having kids was an adventure so far, that there was something new and exciting to observe and feel every day, and I asked him "When does it stop?"

My old man, just looked me square in the eye (and I've got goose-bumps as I type, because he wasn't prone to any sort of emotion - stiff upper lip and all that...) and said "I don't know, it hasn't stopped yet".

My eldest is now 26, and I have to vouch for those sentiments.

Experiences like Groggy's are precious, and you get them all the time....only you can decide how many ski trips that's worth sacrificing, but the 20 years or so they are on your hands doesn't last that long!!

Cheers,

P (who goes all sooky everytime one of his girls walks in)

[rackrussel]

ihmo the earlier you can have your kids the better. my oldest(girl) is now 12 then three boys down to 2. i have had more fun, excitement, pride, heart warming moments, anger, frustration and head scratching then at any other time in my life.and i can only hope that continues as we grow up together.
that is worth more than any vacation to new zealand, dubbo or anywhere

[bitingmidge]

.... well maybe not Dubbo!

P

[Wongo]

My wife and I still aren't convinced.

Redback,

I think I truly became a real man the day my daughter was born. Being 6 foot 1 and look tough doesn’t make me a real man, being married doesn’t make me a real man. It is the love, patience, sacrifice, being responsible, having to make decisions, working hard for someone make me a real man.

My daughter taught me so much from day one.

She taught me to sacrificial, patience and loving when I had to stay up all night (every night for 6 months) to nurse her.
She taught me to be patience when she didn’t listen to me.
She taught me to how to make decisions and be responsible when her temperature was up to 40C in the middle of the night. Do I take her to the hospital or do I wait or do I just panic.

My family is what I work so hard for.


Do your parents have kids? If so then talk to them and you will be convinced.

[rackrussel]

yeah ............
dubbo is pretty impressive!

[LineLefty]

aww shucks.

It's bloody hard work in the first 6 months I can tell you that. And yes I do have those mometns when I wonder would we have been better off not having our son at such an early (25) age.

But it's just not that simple. You do miss out on a lot of things and as you get older you probably miss the m less but in this early stage, I've given up most of my social life (my mate asked my if we needed 1 or 2 weeks notice before inviting us over fora barbie) I've given up volleyball, my guitar is gathering dust and shed tiem is down to about 2hrs every coupel of weekends. Sex life suffers too! We're flat broke as well, even though I earn OK money.

I work, come home at 6:30 rush aroudn trying to get dinner organised, dishesd ath and feed littlelefty and get him to bed. Sit down at 830 for an hour watching a TV show I dont want to watch and then go to bed. Get up and do it again.

But having said all that, you see people with awful cases of 'deferred happiness' syndrome looking at you wondering when everything will be right for them to have kids. It never will.

So dont let these guys impress thier values on you. IT's boody hard work and if you've got any doubts, then I say dont do it.

[Redback]

But it's just not that simple. You do miss out on a lot of things and as you get older you probably miss the m less but in this early stage, I've given up most of my social life (my mate asked my if we needed 1 or 2 weeks notice before inviting us over fora barbie) I've given up volleyball, my guitar is gathering dust and shed tiem is down to about 2hrs every coupel of weekends. Sex life suffers too! We're flat broke as well, even though I earn OK money.

thats pretty much the impression we get from friends who have young kids. We almost never see them, when it is its for a couple of hours tops. They struggling to keep their heads above water and basically have no life outside of home.

Had a work colleague come around one night after work to help me dig some trenches for soakwells. Had to wait for the wife to return with an extra bit of pipe from bunnings and I said to him, "mate you don't need to hang around, I'm sure you've got better things to do at home". He made some comment like "Yeah, bath and feed the kids and put them to bed". Needless to say he hung around to complete the trenching exercise...

I'm sure at the end of the day you look back through rose coloured glasses. It's just not easy at this stage when life is so cosy to make the kind of sacrifices that you mention.

At the moment ski-trips (believe me, the view from the top of Cardona and the thrill of ski-ing is something amazing!) and complete and utter freedom are too appealling. Maybe in another year or two.

Thanks for all your input people.