Baptizing an Irishman

[gms002a]

An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes
upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.

The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,
whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"


The drunk shouts, "Yes, oi am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!"

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little
longer.

He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, me
brother?"


The drunk answers, "No, oi haven't found Jesus!"


By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again
-- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins
kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found
Jesus?"


(get ready for this.....The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes,
coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher,

"Are you sure this is where he fell in"?

[Wongo]

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

[wolften]

...was gonna post a joke... but didna ave any noice ones

[Wongo]

Like there are 3 kinds of people. Those who have found Jayus and those who haven't.

[gms002a]

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"