Woman's Dictionary

[WoodGirl]

A WOMAN'S DICTIONARY

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. -- What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. -- You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. -- Gotta get married in a church.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. -- You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus...breathe....push...."

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. -- An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. -- A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. -- The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. -- To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery list (grow*ser*ee list) n. -- What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. -- Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician".

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. -- Similar to a black hole in space: if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. -- On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring no decent woman would wear...!

Patience (pa*shens) n. -- The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also "tranquilizers".

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. -- A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. -- Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

[Barry_White]

Hey Woodgirl show us your shed.

[WoodGirl]

Hey Woodgirl show us your shed.

Pleased you asked that in the Jokes section, coz that's exactly what it is!

[echnidna]

wot makes you think some of our sheds aren't jokes?

[Barry_White]

We all have to start somewhere.

[WoodGirl]

We all have to start somewhere.

Trouble is, I just don't know where to start

[Barry_White]

Trouble is, I just don't know where to start

Well you could be like this guy and start in your bathroom.

https://www.woodworkforums.com/showth...lathe+bathroom

[WoodGirl]

Well you could be like this guy and start in your bathroom.

Where there's a will there's a way! Smart fella!

Space is not my problem ... 20'x30' shed minus enough room for my 4WD and trailer, the rest is workshop ... but why are machinery manufacturers so inconsiderate when it comes to colours? Ryobi gold and grey (that's fine), Performax cream (again ok, neutral colour), but Bosch's blue clashes with Makita's blue (urk!), then Hegner have orange and green!! How is a girl to know what colours to paint her workshop?

[Barry_White]

Paint it white, that goes with all colours and it will nice and light.

[CameronPotter]

Well you could be like this guy and start in your bathroom.

https://www.woodworkforums.com/showth...lathe+bathroom

I have actually considered that myself and if it was my place rather than a rented apartment I reckon that I would be right on it...

[CameronPotter]

Where there's a will there's a way! Smart fella!

Space is not my problem ... 20'x30' shed minus enough room for my 4WD and trailer, the rest is workshop ... but why are machinery manufacturers so inconsiderate when it comes to colours? Ryobi gold and grey (that's fine), Performax cream (again ok, neutral colour), but Bosch's blue clashes with Makita's blue (urk!), then Hegner have orange and green!! How is a girl to know what colours to paint her workshop?

That is where you are going wrong... Forget about trying to mix Bosch and Makita and certainly forget about Ryobi... Then get some good tools...

However, I haven't seen a Hegner, that sounds like a colour nightmare all by itself.