SIMPLE TRUTH #1 >
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH#2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say,"Congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated.

FIVE RULES TOREMEMBER
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Bentley than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when he's in trouble, he will remember you when he's in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve problems, but then neither does milk.

BONUS RULE:
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex; a friend was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
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