Dumb things I've done

[silentC]

Last night, I cooked up some Veal Marsala. For anyone who doesn't know, the sauce is made from butter and Marsala, which is a fortified red wine from, you guessed it, Marsala.

Anyway, we finished up dinner and SWMBO took the plates to the kitchen. A bit later I went out to get another glass of red and I spied the frying pan still sitting on the stove with some of the sauce still in it. "I'll 'ave some of that" I thought to my self, so I went over and wiped my finger through it and whacked it in my gob.

My first thought was "hmm, that didn't taste as good cold as it did warm". Then I thought "that really tastes quite ordinary". This quickly changed to "that tastes absolutely disgusting, how did we eat that?"

I went back over to have a closer look at the pan. "Hmm, what's that purple tinge I can see in there? It looks like detergent." The love of my life had been out to the kitchen and squirted some dish washing detergent in the pan intending to fill it with hot water to soak but had gotten distracted and walked off half way through the job.

I suppose she wasn't to know but why does she have to laugh so much?

[Lignum]

Went away over Xmass and bought a monthly unlimited pre-paid dial up voucher for the net, and it was handed to me with the recipt (got it from the supermarket) and yes, i threw the recipt in the bin on the way out

[AlexS]

I suppose she wasn't to know but why does she have to laugh so much?

Because that's what they do!

[Shedhand]

i got married...twice... dumb and dumber...

[Wongo]

My aftershave balm looks like a tube of toothpaste. You figure out the rest.

[silentC]

Well that'll serve you right for owning (or even admitting to owning) an aftershave balm

Balm is one of those words that if you say it over and over it starts to sound like a nonsense word. Balm balm balm balm balm. See, what a silly word it is

[Wongo]

Well I didn’t buy it. It was given to me for fathers day. What you gonna do? Take it back and exchange it for a piece of soap??

[silentC]

Well I didn’t buy it

Yeah right, heard it before. You metrosexual you

[Driver]

I suppose she wasn't to know but why does she have to laugh so much?

Are you kidding? I'm p1ssing meself and I've only heard about it from you!

[silentC]

Yes I'm sure she'll get more mileage out of it over the ensuing months.

It's nearly lunch time, I might ask her what she's planning to poison me with today

[Howdya do that]

Well that'll serve you right for owning (or even admitting to owning) an aftershave balm

Balm is one of those words that if you say it over and over it starts to sound like a nonsense word. Balm balm balm balm balm. See, what a silly word it is

Balm would have to be one those words "Chaps" use.
I think driver should add it to the code of practice.

[Shedhand]

I use after shave balm....what's wrong with that

[martrix]

My aftershave balm looks like a tube of toothpaste. You figure out the rest.

So does a tube of Deep Heat when you're well phizzed.

[Felder]

My aftershave balm looks like a tube of toothpaste. You figure out the rest.

So did you brush your face or shave your teeth?

[Cliff Rogers]

I was at the markets last Saturday buying bananas when the phone rang.... when SWMBO finds out where I am & what I'm doing I get instructed to buy some mangos for chutney while I'm there, anyway.... this bloke has about 57 (well, at least 8) different kinds of mango & some a ripe now & some are still green & some are better for cooking & & & & after trying half a dozen different types, I pay for 10 mangos & a bunch of bananas & toddle off home.
When I get home I unpack the bag & there are... 10 mangos. D'oh

Looks like I've done me 'nanas.