Tonto and the stagecoach

[Driver]

Remember the Lone Ranger? Here's a Lone Ranger story

Tonto and the stagecoach.

The Lone Ranger is riding Silver along a trail in the badlands. The trail takes a turn around a small mesa and, as he rounds the turn, the Lone Ranger spies his old Native American buddy Tonto in the middle of the trail. Tonto is squatting down with his bum in the air and his head to the ground, one ear pressed into the dust.

The Lone Ranger eases Silver to a halt alongside his recumbent partner.

“Howdy Tonto! Old pal, old buddy,” he says. “What’s happening?”

Without moving, Tonto squints upwards.

“Kemo Sabay,” he says. “Twenty minutes ago, a stagecoach passed along this trail. Four horses; three passengers; one driver and two riding shotgun. There’s a big brassbound cabin trunk strapped to the roof”.

“Gee Willikins Tonto!” says the masked one. “It never ceases to amaze me how you redskin fellas can gain so much detail just by listening to the vibrations in the ground!”

“What vibrations in the ground?" says Tonto. “The bastards ran over me!”

[Stuart]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been chasing a group of indians for a few hours. Rounding a corner in the hills, they find themselves surrounded, trapped in an ambush with sheer rockfaces on either side, preventing escape.

It looks to be all over, and the Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, thanking him for his companionship all these years and finishes by saying,

"Well, Kimosabi, it looks as if we are finished."

To which Tonto replies "What do you mean 'WE' white boy?"