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Thread: Alans diet
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13th March 2010, 11:35 AM #1
Alans diet
Alan walks into a doctor’s office at Wallan with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, Alan asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?" The doctor looks at Alan and replies...
"You're not eating properly!"Reality is no background music.
Cheers John
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13th March 2010, 05:07 PM #2
Same doctor - next day.
I went there with a pain in the tummy. He asked what
food I had eaten that day.
I replied, "For breakfast - two billiard balls, one pink, one black.
Then for lunch - two billiard balls, one brown , one yellow.
and finally for dinner - four reds".
The doctor said, "It's simple, you are not eating enough greens".
AllanLife is short ... smile while you still have teeth.
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13th March 2010, 05:12 PM #3
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13th March 2010, 09:37 PM #4
I saw Alan today actually, he was flying a kite. I asked him what he was doing flying a kite and he replied that he had been to the doctor and asked him if he could give him something for the wind. so he gave him a kite.
Reality is no background music.
Cheers John
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13th March 2010, 11:51 PM #5
Alan's wife saw him flying a kite. She told him, "You need more _ _ _ _."
He said, "Last night you told me to go fly a kite."
Cheers,
JoeOf course truth is stranger than fiction.
Fiction has to make sense. - Mark Twain
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14th March 2010, 02:35 PM #6
Yes so Allan made his kite used some Osage Orange for the frame being a double box kite he decided he needed plenty material for the sails. His MiL wasn't to pleased though he'd used a pair of her silk bloomers.
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14th March 2010, 09:22 PM #7
You've forgotten Al's dietry problems
- it's getting a bit hard to stomacheHave a good one
Keith
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15th March 2010, 07:49 AM #8
Allan goes back to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
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15th March 2010, 12:05 PM #9
At last, after roughly three weeks without my computer it is
finally repaired and returned to me today.
On the rare occasion that I have needed to I used my wife's
laptop I can now declare .... "I hate it". I am a touch typist
from way back and find the laptop simply too small for my
fingers.
My wife has never heard me use so many expletives and she
is more relieved than me to get mine back.
Glad to see my "mates" have been busy posting jokes
about me in my absence ... thanks fellas.
AllanLife is short ... smile while you still have teeth.
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15th March 2010, 01:27 PM #10
Allan all you needed to do was plug the USB key board into the USB slot on the laptop.
As for being a touch typist from way back is that when the typwriter first hit the market
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15th March 2010, 01:51 PM #11
boom boom
Mick
avantguardian
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16th March 2010, 08:53 AM #12
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16th March 2010, 09:01 AM #13
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16th March 2010, 05:36 PM #14
touch typing???
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7pn67BiL4k"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=d7pn67BiL4k[/ame]
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16th March 2010, 07:16 PM #15
Just a quickie, I have also just got my PC back today but I cannot find the spell checker, how do I install that please?
I can type faster than her, but not so accurately.woody U.K.
"Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." ~ Abraham Lincoln
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