Tricks on apprentices

[Oldblock]

I'm collecting the tricks that are played on apprentices (or that's how it happenned in my day).

Examples:
Go to the store and get a long weight (wait)
Go to the store and get a new bubble for my spirit level

If you guys can add to these I would be forever in your debt, grateful, appreciative of your time and indescribably happy.

Never having used this forum before I dont know how to sign off but I'm sure someone will tell me.
Like read the instructions.

Ray

[Sir Stinkalot]

Go wash my car

[DaveInOz]

(car dealership) - 'Its starting to rain go get the yard tarp'

(mechanic) - cut some old tools up then empty the apprentic's tool box, and fill it with cement and while wet stick some of the tool ends into the cement. They can chip away for hours to get their tools out (they are really in a draw)

(mechanic) - attach a grease nipple to the lool box and fill with grease - when opened it will spill out.

(general) - send out for:
sky hooks,
striped paint,
left handed screwdriver.

[Jeff]

go get me a rounding square..........

[Zed]

(dairy farm) get the bull to fill a milk bottle

(telecommunications)
1:
cable tie the apprentice to the lift
2:
cable tie the apprentice to a chair and shock his ear lobes with 50V DC

(telecommunications rigging)
take a 100m x16mm dia poly rope up the channel 9 tower without a winch (through the ladder system instead)

[chia]

metal workers: Get me a box of sparks

cheers
Chia

[DPB]

If the new guy wasn't able to figure out how to wrap the furniture in the available sized paper wrapping material, he was told to go ask the forman for the paper stretcher.

[ndru]

Go get the verbal agreement forms

[Sturdee]

Go get the verbal agreement forms

Not as silly as it sounds because when I first started work many years ago in a bank we had a form entitled " Verbal agreement form".

It was used by the manager to record details of the overdraft he had verbally agreed to.

Peter.

[AlexS]

Can of airscrew pitch
Tube of glim (torch)
left handed screw driver
Wait on the roof of the old Herald building for the helicopter mail

[Grue]

This is a "pet" subject of mine. Started with a book "Rare Trades" by Mark Thomson. Mark is an Aussi and has other titles to his credit:
Blokes & Sheds
Stories from the shed
Meat, Metal & Fire - Australian Barbecue Culture
His home site is http://www.ibys.org/

I reviewed the book on http://www.thepiers.net/pn/displayarticle33.html
and
http://www.woodcentral.com/books/thomson.shtml

Mark discusses "tricks" and shows pics of a box for each of
Population Tool
Spirit Level Bubbles
Spark Plug Sparks and
Polka dot Paint.

I picked up on the idea to motivate kids in my classes to make a container.

I started the unit of work sending kids for the above (not the population tool) plus:
Globe for a gas lamp
Spot weld Spots
Left handed screwdriver.

They were all sucked in and went to other teachers in the school for the items. Responses were remarkable. I had to send other kids for the kids waiting for the weight, The art teacher sent the kids back to tell me that he wouldn't give me polka dot paint until I returned the tartan paint I had borrowed. The english teacher told the kids the screwdriver was in the tin with the offset bolts. What colour spots?

Most amazingly the science lab assistant came back with the kids, appologetic and asked for a catalogue number for gas lamp globe.

I explained the term "wild goose chase" and encouraged the kids to think up 2003 items. They came up with:
Film for a digital camera
spare disk space
Propellor pitch

One kid must have got this from his dad,
Knacker Lacker (adds lustre to your cluster). Made a container from a piece of copper tube.

The kids hooked in and made some nice containers from wood, tinplate, copper colorbond.

Glenn

[Driver]

I thought everyone knew that it was:

Max Factor Knacker Lacquer
Adds a lustre to your cluster.

On a related but probably irrelevant (to the origins of this thread) subject, it is apparently true that several years ago, Birds Eye developed a new product in the UK. The product consisted of small, bite-size chunks of cod, deep-frozen and ready to cook. All their marketing people were very excited about the new idea and worked up an entire marketing plan with fully-realised press and TV ads, a zippy slogan and catchy jingle: the full unrestrained media campaign - complete with bells and whistles.

It wasn't until they showed the TV ads to the managing director that the campaign stalled. This wise and experienced man carefully explained to the marketing team that Cod Pieces wasn't a good brand name.

(Free tin of Max Factor Knacker Lacquer to the first BB member who knows why . . . )

Col

[Oldblock]

Thanks guys. This will give me a good start.

Ray

[silentC]

Used to make gal rainwater tanks. Once got the apprentice to climb inside to hold a dolly while the lid was dressed over (not necessary but he didn't know that). Only way out was when the hole was cut for the strainer.

Another one was when putting in rivets, one would hold the rivet in place with a dolly and the other would put a washer over the end and dress it down. You'd say to the person holding the dolly, who had to put the rivet in place and tell you when ready, "when you nod your head, I'll hit it". When they nod their head, you give them a clout (not with the hammer).

In the joinery I worked in, they used to glue or staple the apprentice's toolbox to his bench.

Computer related:

Switch the keyboard and mouse cables on the young bloke's PC with the PC at the desk next to him. Watch him trying to get the mouse to move and the keyboard to unlock and finally give up and reboot, only to see the screen next to him (which probably has some unsaved work) go black.

Tie a knot in the mouse cable and then change the start up security message to something like "Windows cannot start due to a problem with your mouse. Possible cause is a knot in the cable, please untie the knot and restart".

Yeah, I know, never a dull moment....

[Toymaker Len]

I ruefully remember being sent to the coolroom for frozen lettuces as a young cook in my first job... But the best one I've ever heard was from Redfern mail exchange when a young girl was sent down to the office at circular quay on April 1st to get some more 'Lane One Forms'. Not fazed the staff at circular quay sent her on a ferry ride to Manly.