I see the light

[Bob Willson]

Lawyers and Lightbulbs, Case #3

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement.

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as 'the lawyers' and the party of the second part, also known as 'the light bulb' do hereby agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (light bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination ofthe area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just through the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (light bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1. The party of the first part (lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (light bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (light bulb) in a counter clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (light bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (light bulb), notwithstanding the aformentioned failure of the party of the second part (light bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (light bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (lawyer) throughout.

2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (light bulb) becomes seperated from the party of the third part ('receptacle'), the party of the first part shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (light bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes.

3. Once seperation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (lawyer) shall have the option of beginning the installation of the party of the fourth part ('new light bulb'). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse procedures described in step one of this self same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable and only until the party of the fourth part (new light bulb) becomes snug in the party of the third part (receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (light bulb).

Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (lawyer), by said party of the first part (lawyer), or by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do som the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (North) door consistent with maximisation of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as 'The Firm'.

[bitingmidge]

How many counsellors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it REALLY has to want to change.

P

[bitingmidge]

Why does it take three women with PMT to change a light bulb?

[bitingmidge]

IT JUST Jolly Well DOES!!!

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?????

[DanP]

BLOODY

Pun intended??? :eek:

[bitingmidge]

No.

P

[ozwinner]

Dan youll have to excuse Midge.

I put up the alifoil picture of me earlier this week, and I think Midge has gone to wearing a foil hat full time.

I was only joking Midge, I dont wear it all the time!!
It doesnt stop the aliens from reading your mind, they still can..
Its an alien joke, ha ha ha, look, another stupid human wearing the foil.
I can hear them laughing right now.
What..........yes master..........coming...............no!! Im not putting on the stupid hat for you...............bugger off.............go see Midge.


Cheers, foily

[bitingmidge]

Dan youll have to excuse Midge.

I put up the alifoil picture of me earlier this week, and I think Midge has gone to wearing a foil hat full time.

I was only joking Midge, I dont wear it all the time!!
It doesnt stop the aliens from reading your mind, they still can..
Its an alien joke, ha ha ha, look, another stupid human wearing the foil.
I can hear them laughing right now.
What..........yes master..........coming...............no!! Im not putting on the stupid hat for you...............bugger off.............go see Midge.

I'm sorry Al, I can't do that.

Be afraid..

Be VERY afraid.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

BurningMidge

[ozwinner]

No way the aliens are coming anywhere near this planet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What, with Midge and me, they are too frightened. :eek: x235 :eek:

Al

[DanP]

When does that nurse come 'round with the tablets?

[ozwinner]

You can see how silly he is, he doesnt need tablets..:eek:


Al

[DanP]

Ithink I might before I log off.

[Geoff Dean]

You people are scary, I think I may need to join another forum.

Geoff :confused:

[ozwinner]

You would get bored on another BB, not much chance of that happening here.


Al, The Sane

[bitingmidge]

You people are scary, I think I may need to join another forum.

Geoff :confused:

A guy whose avatar is a cartoon kid showing us his bum thinks we are scary???? :eek:
Hey Geoff, make yourself an alfoil hat. Take a photo of yourself, then post it. Only then will you begin to understand!!!

P