Good instructions.

[RETIRED]

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods.



1 : On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

2 : On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary, Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

3 : On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

4 : On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." , (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

5 : On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

6 : On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

7 : On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

8 : On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

9 : On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

10: On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

11: On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

12: On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

13: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

14: I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly." ( well Derrr! )

15: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

[ozwinner]

15: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Owwh poo!!
Now how do I stop it??

Al :confused:

[Grunt]

You mean I'm not supposed to stop the chainsaw with my genitals? How about the table saw?

[Grunt]

I wonder how many of us having been using our testicles as brakes?

[echnidna]

After you stop the chainsaw the table saw wont matter

[ozwinner]

Poll, poll, poll, poll!!


Al

[Daddles]

Dammit, I know understand all the red spots on my triton

Richard
(re number 15 above)

[Kev Y.]

I wonder how many of us having been using our testicles as brakes?

You can be sure that neither daddles, I nor several others on here use OURS as brakes.. They are hanging on the trophy wall off some man-hating ex :eek:

[Daddles]

You can be sure that neither daddles, I nor several others on here use OURS as brakes.. They are hanging on the trophy wall off some man-hating ex :eek:

No they're not, they're right here ... somewhere ... :eek: ... HELP!

[bsrlee]

I have a 2nd cousin who took the old Palmolive ads at their word. Most of the skin on her face started to peel off - Palmolive were 'most surprised' that someone would put that much of their soap on their face etc etc. A few months of treatment by a Dermatologist eventually fixed the peeling skin problem.

[scooter]

Different slant on "adjusting the bar on the chainsaw"...

Would take care of any slack I guess

You mean I'm not supposed to stop the chainsaw with my genitals? How about the table saw?

And I thought they used a hotdog to demo that Sawstop tablewaw device in the States... :eek:


Cheers...............Sean