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Thread: As requested by johnc
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7th February 2007, 06:07 PM #1
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As requested by johnc
Warning: Do not read on unless you fully comprehend the meaning of "joke"
How can you tell if your wife is dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won't do what she's told.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don't shine.
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Cheers
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7th February 2007, 06:15 PM #2
Electron Murderer
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from recent posts in the jokes forum, not sure just how many have a sense of humour.
Glad you've kept yours WG
"Clear, Ease Springs"
www.Stu's Shed.com
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7th February 2007, 06:29 PM #3
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Women who go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and about it.
Originally Posted by WoodGirl
Change the record, Im sick of it and so are the rest of the forum.
If you have an issue with the male population, take it some where else.
We are not interested.
Al
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8th February 2007, 08:17 AM #4
Shed Rat
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OZ, These jokes are having a crack at the fairer sex not us blokes, I think Wood girl is equalizing the load. Besides if we cant laugh at ourselves life is pretty sad.
Cheers,
Howdya
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8th February 2007, 08:58 AM #5
Grumpy old Bugga
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I want to know what he found outDid you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Richard
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8th February 2007, 09:22 AM #6
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How about that, one for the boys after all, although not all of us see the joke I gather.
John
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8th February 2007, 09:31 AM #7
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Get over it Al...... how many times have your bitched & moaned about having to distress that FAQ'n table. Originally Posted by ozwinner
Women who go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and about it.
Change the record, Im sick of it and so are the rest of the forum.
If you have an issue with the male population, take it some where else.
We are not interested.
Al
If you have a issue with distressing timber, you shouldn't have taken the job.
Cliff.
If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.
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8th February 2007, 09:36 AM #8
Shed Rat
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This may cause the beginning of another impossible dovetail thead. Originally Posted by Daddles
I want to know what he found out
RichardCheers,
Howdya
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8th February 2007, 10:21 AM #9
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.............could have padlock again
becareful we could start talking about god
sorry thats baned
sex ,,nope
politics ,,no non nooo
world afairs,, hands off
lucky we still have our drugs of dependance to talk about,ow sweet boozz
come on w/d show us your shed
smile and the world will smile with you
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8th February 2007, 04:54 PM #10
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Fair call Cliff, and I apologise to all who are who are offended by what I have said. Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers
Get over it Al...... how many times have your bitched & moaned about having to distress that FAQ'n table.
If you have a issue with distressing timber, you shouldn't have taken the job.
Al
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13th February 2007, 03:26 PM #11
Dendot
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Feminism etc.
Actually I tried to answer your other thread but it was closed.
I only wanted to say that, IMHO the definitive quote on Feminism and similar artificial issues was spoken by the great Doctor Samuel Johnson (1709-1784).
He said "Nature has given Woman so much power that the Law, wisely, gives them little!"
The law, sadly has changed since then, but nothing else has...The collecting of facts is not the gaining of wisdom, or even knowledge; knowing that the earth is round does not prevent our falling off the edge of it.
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13th February 2007, 03:38 PM #12
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Gee Whizz, I wonder why they closed the other post Originally Posted by Dennis Millard
Looking for a
are you Dennis?
Cheers,
Howdya
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