Long one, stick with it... (Qld joke)

[Cliff Rogers]

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, combined with an abundance of green, yellow and red vegetables.

He did this so that Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.



Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Whip and Sara Lee Ice Cream. And Satan said, You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, Yes! and Woman said, I'll have one too ... with sprinkles. And lo and behold they gained 20 kgs.



And so God created the healthful yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.



And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them, and Woman went from size 10 to size 16.



So God said, Try my fresh green garden salad.



And Satan presented crumbled Blue Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side and Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.



God then said, I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which cook them.

And Satan brought forth deep-fried squid rings, butter dipped lobster chunks, and fried chicken so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.



Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.



Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man packed on more kilos.



God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose those extra kilos.



Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light, and started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.



God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.



And Satan created McDonald's and the double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, You want fries with that? And Man replies, Yes, and super size them! And Satan said, It is good. And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.



God sighed ... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.



Satan chuckled and created ... The Queensland Public Health System.

[Gingermick]

Hey there now Cliff, they aren't that bad. I'm living proof that they do good work. Except for the fact that my ac joint was a couple of inches out of place and they didn't pick it up at all. My mother asked someone about the lump on my shoulder. Still gives me trouble. I'm thinking of sueing

[Kev Y.]

My mother asked someone about the lump on my shoulder.

If you were from Tasmainia, that lump on your shoulder might have been your brother

[Gra]

Then the victorian govt created their public health system and sat said, I give up I cant compete with that.

They dont call it victorian for nothing... The Govt has taken name as a date....