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Thread: The man rules

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    moonbi nsw Aus
    Age
    70
    Posts
    228

    Default The man rules

    The Man Rules

    We always hear
    " the rules"
    >From the female side....

    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.
    (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1.. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    onlyif you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1.. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

    1. Captain Cook did
    NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is .

    1.
    If it itches, itwill be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.



    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
    or Cars.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    RoundIS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;



    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.
    Just do it!

    Kind regards Rod

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Too true.

    I especially like the 11th. Rule 1.
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Mt Crosby, Brisbane
    Posts
    316

    Default

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    Not necessarily.
    I'm just a startled bunny in the headlights of life. L.J. Young.
    We live in a free country. We have freedom of choice. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to be wrong.
    Wait! No one told you your government was a sitcom?

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