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Thread: When Insults Had Class...
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11th June 2015, 03:19 PM #1GOLD MEMBER
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When Insults Had Class...
These glorious insults are from an era “ before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir, "said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
-Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx
Last edited by KBs PensNmore; 11th June 2015 at 03:22 PM. Reason: Too small a print for us oldies
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11th June 2015, 07:44 PM #2
Absolutely wonderful!
You deserve a and a and a
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12th June 2015, 10:45 AM #3
There are always times in life when you wish you could say something similar.
Cheers Fred
The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with the light on.
http://www.redbubble.com/people/fredsmi ... t_creative"
Updated 26 April 2010
http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/
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12th June 2015, 04:10 PM #4
I love those old quotes. After all "The future ain't what it used to be."
Yogi Berra....but together with the coffee civility flowed back into him
Patrick O'Brian, Treason's Harbour
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12th June 2015, 06:01 PM #5
Wonderful
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12th June 2015, 06:40 PM #6
Golden Oldies. I wish I could remember those one liners during an argument!!
Just do it!
Kind regards Rod
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12th June 2015, 06:49 PM #7
"Half the members of this house are idiots"
"Objection! Withdraw!, Withdraw!!.
"All right I will withdraw that statement. Half the members of this house are not idiots."Hugh
Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.
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13th June 2015, 09:53 AM #8
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13th June 2015, 01:58 PM #9
"Sir! You are drunk!"
"Madam. In the morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly."regards from Alberta, Canada
ian
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13th June 2015, 06:32 PM #10
Winston Churchill.
Price Phillip.... I love this idiot.
"If it doesn't fart or eat hay then she isn't interested"
- speaking about his daughter, Princess Anne.
"Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."
- to a 13-year-old whilst visiting a space shuttle.
When meeting a 60-year-old disabled man: "How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?" David Miller, a trustee of the Valentine Mansion in Redbridge, said he took no offence.
To Australian Aborigines during a visit to Australia with the Queen he asked: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds
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14th June 2015, 09:44 AM #11Try not to be late, but never be early.
- Join Date
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I stuck up for you at the pub yesterday, a bloke said you've got the brains of an ant, I said " no you haven't". Then he said you didn't know f*** all, I said "yes you do!'
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14th June 2015, 09:51 AM #12
The honourable member is an annelid
regards
Nick
veni, vidi, tornavi
Without wood it's just ...
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14th June 2015, 02:22 PM #13
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14th June 2015, 03:11 PM #14
You can agree with me or choose to be wrong, your choice.
The person who never made a mistake never made anything
Cheers
Ray
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14th June 2015, 06:55 PM #15GOLD MEMBER
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- bilpin
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- 510
Graceful as the bird they call the Elephant.
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