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Thread: Grandma
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31st August 2007, 10:59 AM #1
Grandma
I like this, thought I would share it with you.
THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA
The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Google
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.
Reality is no background music.
Cheers John
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31st August 2007, 11:11 AM #2
Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay,
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
he just sat down and ate his face.
"We can't have this!" his Dad declared,
"If that lad's ate, he should be shared."
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes...
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried,
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late, for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh! foolish child!" the father mourns
"You could have deep-fried that with prawns,
Some parsley and some tartar sauce..."
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
"To think I raised him from the cot,
And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
His Mother cried: "What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept, her son was seen,
to eat his head, his heart his spleen.
and there he lay: a boy no more,
just a stomach on the floor...
None the less, since it *was* his,
they ate it -- that's what haggis is."I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
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31st August 2007, 11:24 AM #3
Top one Silent,
Reality is no background music.
Cheers John
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1st September 2007, 10:57 PM #4
Two good uns' there thanks a lot fella's. I must have them ready for the grandchildren, when next they dine with us.
Buzza.
"All those who believe in psycho kinesis . . . raise my hand".
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