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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Queensland, Aus
    Age
    72
    Posts
    97

    Default You’re An EXTREME Redneck When

    1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
    2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
    3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
    4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
    5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
    6. Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey, guys, watch this.”
    7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
    8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
    9. Your junior prom offered day care.
    10. You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
    11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
    12. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
    13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
    14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
    15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
    16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
    17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
    Bonus Comment:
    An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband “fixed”. The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn’t want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    0

    Default

    18. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
    19. You walk your eight year old to school because you're both in the same grade.
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Ipswich QLD
    Age
    55
    Posts
    177

    Default

    20. When some one asks you for your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
    21. If you front porch collapses and kills more than 4 dogs
    Dave,
    hug the tree before you start the chainsaw.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Mackay, Queensland
    Posts
    23

    Default

    22. your know that your in a low crime rate area of the trailer park, when you trailer still has all its wheels

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    0

    Default

    23. You've been accused of lying through your tooth.
    24. Someone says you have something stuck in your teeth, and you take them out to have a look.
    25. When you take the dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner for a toilet.
    26. When you wear a dress that's strapless with a bra that isn't.
    27. If your wife has ever said, "come move this transmission so I can take a bath".
    28. If your neighbours think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    0

    Default

    29. You smother your house (or 'trailer') in lights and garish decorations at Christmas.
    30. You defend people who legitimise this form of graffiti in the name of charity.
    31. As a traditional Christmas treat, you take your entire family for a drive to see all the decorated houses.
    32. You think just because it's the Season of Goodwill that it's acceptable to wear a red bikini trimmed with white faux fur to the supermarket. (Hell, it's OK to do that all year round. Yee-ha!)
    33. Your Christmas tree is a seven foot stack of empty beer cans.
    34. Your letter to Santa requests a four-barrel Holley, new flanny shirts and a set of mud tyres.
    35. You actually receive a bottle of Jim Beam from your twelve year old twins and gift voucher for The Mens Gallery from your mother.
    .
    I know you believe you understand what you think I wrote, but I'm not sure you realize that what you just read is not what I meant.


    Regards, Woodwould.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    78
    Posts
    1,332

    Default

    You people make it sound like these are all bad things.
    Visit my website
    Website
    Facebook

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Newtown Geelong
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
    You people make it sound like these are all bad things.

    arn't they? OH thats a redback not a red neck
    Back To Car Building & All The Sawdust.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Melbourne, Aus.
    Age
    71
    Posts
    0

    Default

    You prefer to sleep with your houndawgs cos they've got fewer fleas than the liddle lady.
    The liddle lady ain't. (Ain't either matter of fact.)
    Anyways, the dawgs twitchin tails keep the skeeters away.
    You soak your teeth overnight only in the best sourmash - tastes a lot better than toothpaste.
    Last edited by rsser; 17th December 2009 at 11:00 AM. Reason: additions
    Cheers, Ern

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Grafton, N.S.W.
    Age
    64
    Posts
    546

    Default

    Schit...My redneck is showing...I do all these

    24. Someone says you have something stuck in your teeth, and you take them out to have a look.
    29. You smother your house (or 'trailer') in lights and garish decorations at Christmas.
    25. When you take the dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner for a toilet.
    Hooroo.
    Regards, Trevor
    Grafton

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Melbourne, Aus.
    Age
    71
    Posts
    0

    Default

    LOL, this is the best thread I've read in years

    Glock, if you've got something to show off why not use the same tree as your dawg.
    Cheers, Ern

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by glock40sw View Post
    Schit...My redneck is showing...I do all these
    29. You smother your house (or 'trailer') in lights and garish decorations at Christmas.
    Ok, which is it; house or trailer?
    .
    I know you believe you understand what you think I wrote, but I'm not sure you realize that what you just read is not what I meant.


    Regards, Woodwould.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Blue Mountains
    Posts
    0

    Default

    33. Your Christmas tree is a seven foot stack of empty beer cans.
    Im OK, mine are all stubbies...
    "We must never become callous. When we experience the conflicts ever more deeply we are living in truth. The quiet conscience is an invention of the devil." - Albert Schweizer

    My blog. http://theupanddownblog.blogspot.com

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Grafton, N.S.W.
    Age
    64
    Posts
    546

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Woodwould View Post
    Ok, which is it; house or trailer?
    House...The Trailer got loaned to my brother from another Mother. He has it covered in Christmas lights this year. He also has a Christmas tree that has VB cans hanging from it (Full ones) If he gets thirsty watching Jerry Springer, He just grabs a hot VB off the tree...
    Hooroo.
    Regards, Trevor
    Grafton

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Grafton, N.S.W.
    Age
    64
    Posts
    546

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rsser View Post
    LOL, this is the best thread I've read in years

    Glock, if you've got something to show off why not use the same tree as your dawg.
    The Pole-Pizzer puts me to shame in that dept.
    Hooroo.
    Regards, Trevor
    Grafton

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