Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    0

    Default It's a bloke thing!

    A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday.
    He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

    He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

    In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?'
    She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'

    'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.'

    'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island.
    The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'

    'But, where did you get the tools?'

    'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed.

    I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron.
    I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'

    The guy is stunned.

    'Let's row over to my place,' she says.

    After a few minutes of rowing,she docks the boat at a small wharf.
    As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.
    Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

    While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.

    As they walk into the house,she says casually,
    'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please.

    Would you like a drink?'

    'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed.

    'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,'winks the woman. 'I have a still.

    How would you like a Pina Colada?'

    Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

    After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces,
    'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
    Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.'

    No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.

    There,in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone.
    Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

    'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'

    When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines,strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias.

    She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

    'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely.

    There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?'
    She stares into his eyes.

    He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.....

    Don't tell me you've got television and Sky Sports so I can watch the footy'

    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Tooradin,Victoria,Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    2,515

    Default

    Would have to be a Collingwood supporter.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    You mean she made Collingwood too?




    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oberon, NSW
    Age
    64
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Darwinism in action.
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc

  5. #5
    rrich Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tea lady View Post
    You mean she made Collingwood too?




    If I answer this we'll be in the orange room.

Similar Threads

  1. What a top bloke!
    By craigb in forum NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH RENOVATION
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 23rd January 2006, 10:07 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •