Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Newcastle Australia
    Age
    67
    Posts
    22

    Default What pets write in their diaries

    WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES



    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......





    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...





    Day 983 of my captivity...



    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
    fed
    hash or some sort of dry nuggets.



    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
    nevertheless
    must eat something in order to keep up my strength.



    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
    attempt
    to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.



    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet.
    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
    clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
    Bastards.



    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
    However,
    I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
    confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
    this
    means and how to use it to my advantage.



    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
    this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.



    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
    snitches.
    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
    seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
    the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
    My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
    cell, so he is safe. For now................

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    humpty doo N.T
    Age
    48
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Cheers Rum Pig

    It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    belgrave
    Age
    61
    Posts
    0

    Default

    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Absolutely brilliant, you've obviously been to my place whilst I was at work .
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Bottom of the leg
    Age
    82
    Posts
    366

    Default

    very good
    Cheers Fred



    The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with the light on.
    http://www.redbubble.com/people/fredsmi ... t_creative"

    Updated 26 April 2010
    http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/

Similar Threads

  1. Pets.
    By RETIRED in forum JOKES
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 4th September 2009, 11:45 AM
  2. What Your Pets do While you're at Work
    By Barry_White in forum JOKES
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 1st October 2005, 08:56 AM
  3. More on my pets
    By Iain in forum NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH RENOVATION
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 29th March 2005, 12:32 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •