Supersonic Chickens

[Tristan Croll]

Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead
chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space
shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne
fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard
about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new
high speed trains.

Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood
shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the
shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the
control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded
itself in the back wall of the cabin.

Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment,
along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists
for suggestions.

NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the chicken."

---------

AND

Wedding Pranks

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals, a carpenter, an
electrician, and a dentist, were deciding what pranks to play on the
couple on their wedding night. The carpenter figured sawing the slats of
their bed would give them a chuckle or two. The electrician decided to
wire the bed. The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin
and promised it would be memorable. The nuptials went as planned and a
few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note:
DEAR FRIENDS,
WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS BEING SAWED.
THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY A MINOR SETBACK.
BUT I SWEAR BY GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT
NOVOCAINE IN THE K-Y JELLY!"

------

And just one more... (ain't boredom grand!)

A Psychology Experiment

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the
bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her
and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a
while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with
you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks
back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She
smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to
embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"


Hope these brightened up your day.

[Iain]

Oh God, another Psych. Thank God Pavlovs dogs have been caught and are in the pound.

Love the novocaine though, will drop that on a friend of mine who is in the trade.

[RETIRED]

I s'pose that it is better than Vicks?

------------------
Ian () Robertson
"We do good turns every day"

[Iain]

, like the two gays who went on a picnic and forgot the vaseline, used the butter on the sandwiches but forgot about the mustard

[knuckles]

Love the chook one.............. But K-Y Jelly? That sounds a bit queer to me

[This message has been edited by knuckles (edited 14 October 2000).]