The Judge

[rayintheuk]

After a particularly slack afternoon in his London Chambers, the Judge had drunk one or two malts. He popped into his club on the way to the station and had a few more - one too many, as it turned out. On the train he became "ill" and on visiting the toilet, was violently sick, all down his tie and waistcoat. He made an attempt to clean it up with that skiddy BR toilet paper, but didn't do a very good job.

The walk from the station to his country cottage sobered him up very well and he'd composed an excuse by the time he arrived. He entered the hall and his wife immediately said "Good grief, Humphrey, what on Earth's that awful smell?"

"Do you know, dear," he replied, "as I was getting off the train, a frightful yobbo was sick all down my front!"

"Gracious me," she responded, "I hope you're doing something about it?"

"Oh, yes," said the Judge, a little taken aback. A thought occurred to him and he said "He'll be up before me in the morning, don't worry!"

"Good," she replied, "now get those clothes off and we'll have some supper."

Around 1 o'clock the following day, the Judge's secretary got a call in his Chambers from his wife. She never rang him in Chambers, so he rushed to answer the call.

"Has that frightful yobbo been up before you yet?" she asked. He had to think for a while before it dawned on him what she was on about.

"No, not yet," he replied, "he'll be up straight after lunch. Don't worry, I'll give him six months."

"I'd give him twelve, if I were you," she replied, "the filthy beast has shat in your trousers as well!"

Ray

[joe greiner]

A keeper. Saved for posterity, in case it gets zapped by the day shift.

Joe

[billbeee]

Thanks for that Ray.
There’s nothing like a good chortle to start the day off!
I've already sent it to a mate who is a scotch drinker, He's "been there done that"!
Cheers
Bill.