This conversation REALLY happened - no enhancement required

[doug3030]

Today, I set out to buy some brass tubing to make some ferrules for a number of items. I was really hoping that I could have sourced some and picked it up today so that I could get started on the project. I started on the phone around 09:00 am.

Well it soon became obvious that brass merchants aren't targeting the weekend warrior as not one of them answered their phone. Looking further afield I found a website for a hobby organisation which looked like it might have what I was looking for. They had various sizes of brass tubing listed on their website so I picked up the phone and gave them a try.

I dialed the number.

Them: hello (nice professional answer for a business)

Me: Is this (business)?

Them: Yes

Me: Great, It seems its hard to find someone open on a Saturday who has what I am looking for.

Them: We are open every Saturday.

Me: Fantastic. I am after some brass tube with an inside diameter of around 1/2". Can you help me?

Them: Brass tubing doesn't have an inside diameter. Its only got an outside diameter. You wont find anyone selling brass tubing with an inside diameter.

Me: OK, it doesn't have to be exact, Do you have any brass tubing that has an inside diameter close to 1/2"? A millimeter or so wont make a great deal of difference. What is the closest you have?

Them: I told you - brass tube doesn't have an inside diameter. It only has an outside diameter.

Me: OK (being as patient as I can) So after half an inch, what's your next size up?

Them: We have 5/8"

Me: (ok we might finally be getting somewhere here) Ok that might be alright. Can you tell me how thick the walls of the tube are?

Them: 0.9mm

Me: (now sarcasm has set in - this guy knows the OD and the wall thickness but because they are in different units of measure he cant be bothered calculating the ID) OK so the OD is measured in inches and the wall thickness is measured in millimeters. I suppose I can excuse you for not knowing the ID as its probably expressed in cubits then?

Them: Don't you get it yet. I keep telling you It doesn't have an internal diameter.

Me: (having calculated the ID while talking to this fool and its less than 0.2mm off what I was looking for) OK how much does the 5/8" brass tube cost?

Them: Its $.... for 500mm. Are you sure its what you want? It doesn't have an internal diameter.

Me: (trying to keep the peace) Its alright, everything else about it is perfect. I can make do without an internal diameter. I just want to get something today so I can get the project started this weekend. I can be there in 30 minutes and I want two lengths. There may be other things that you stock that I might be looking for for other projects. See you soon.

Them: Hang on, I cant help you till Monday.

Me: Dont you have them in stock:

Them: Yeah, I have heaps of them but I was on the way out the door when you rang.

Me: Ok but didn't you say you work every Saturday?

Them: Yeah, when I am here.

Me: Ok can I just check again, the brass tubing, It has a hole down the middle, doesnt it?

Them: Yeah

Me: but it doesn't have an inside diameter, right?

Them: Look, no brass tube has an inside diameter, I keep telling you that.

Me: well in that case i don't think you can help me. I am pleased I made the call before I drove over to your shop. I will continue to look around and hopefully I can find someone who has brass tube with an inside diameter. Thanks for your help.

Them: Nobody has brass tube with an inside diameter.

Me: Have a nice day (hangs up)

I just felt I had to share this.

Cheers

Doug

[issatree]

Hi Doug,
You wood have thought he could have used a set of Calipers on it there & then, but seeing he was on the way out, maybe he could be excused.
Then again, your phone call could not lasted all that long, & to be walking out the door at say 9.20am. seems to be a bit early.
Here in Geelong, Vic. we have a Business called " Toy Kingdom " Shannon Ave. Geelong West, & they I'm sure, wood have all those Brass Sizes. Not sure of the internal Sizes Ha Ha. They are reasonably cheap to.

[Master Splinter]

Print this out and send it to him...

brain.jpg

[derekcohen]

If you are OK with 1/2" long brass ferrules that are tapered on the outside (buy straight on the inside) - I think that they are very attractive - look in the plumbing section of Bunnings. I have no idea what they are used for, but I use them (and a smaller version) for chisels.

Regards from Perth

Derek

[jimbur]

i hope you could laugh Doug. That is not good for your mental health otherwise.

[artme]

I think everyone has had a similar conversation to that!!!

You never know whether to laugh or cry!!!

[rwbuild]

Like they say, you can't put brains in statues

[BobL]

Doug,
Unfortunately not an uncommon experience - more likely to happen at the big hardware stores so I am surprised to see it happen at a smaller store.

If you are OK with 1/2" long brass ferrules that are tapered on the outside (buy straight on the inside) - I think that they are very attractive - look in the plumbing section of Bunnings. I have no idea what they are used for, but I use them (and a smaller version) for chisels.

Derek, They are called "Olives" and are used in specially designed plumbing junctions that crimp them down onto copper pipes to make a water tight seal between the pipe and the junction . Bunnings has Olives in 20 and 15 mm inside diameters, Usually in packs of 5?. Larger ones , eg 25 mm ,are available but you will probably need to go to a specialty plumbing store. Copper ones are also available.

If you want chunkier brass tubing then many brass plumbing fittings themselves can be used. I inherited a large box of plumbing fittings from my FIL and have cut off and used many bits as ferrules. The outer hex surface can easily be removed even using a WW lathe although a MW lathe is a bit easier. The inner surfaces are usually threaded and this can be left on or removed. Using a small square file and filing a series of 4 or 6 notches across the threads can make a die which being a coarse BSP thread can be used to put a thread on most wood. When Epoxy type glues are used the large surface area of a thread generates an excellent holding capacity. If you are going to make many of these then making the die out of a galvanized fitting will last longer, or you can fork out an arm and a leg for BSP dies.

[Sawdust Maker]

my local steel merchant sells brass tubing

That story is right up there with anything Monty Python ever did!

[Scott]

Does that mean everything with a hole in it doesn't have an inside diameter? I'm not going to continue with this post because I don't want to be banned!

[doug3030]

i hope you could laugh Doug. That is not good for your mental health otherwise.

I think I hurt myself trying NOT to laugh until I got off the phone. As soon as I hung up that was it!

CHeers

Doug

[AlexS]

See, here's your mistake. If you wanted inside diameters, you should have asked for pipe. Pipe has inside diameters, tube has outside diameters. Check in the catalogues.

[rsser]

Geez, gotta wonder how he stays in business.

BTW, for anyone who prefers wood working to chasing metal bits, this guy has a good range of brass ferrules at a reasonable price: Specialising in fine hand tools and wood working books - The Wood Works Book & Tool Co.

Making my own turning tool handles I buy a bunch at a time and there'll be one sitting there when I need it.

[DSEL74]

I thought ok this guy means tube is sold by the OD, not by the ID….But I slowly lost hope in this fella after many prompts by Doug. You would have probably got to the store and the guy would hand you a piece of wood dowel, what do you mean it isn't brass tube!

[doug3030]

I thought ok this guy means tube is sold by the OD, not by the ID…

Thats what I thought at first too, but I soon realized that was not the case.

Cheers

Doug