This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died
in a car
crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to
her interest in health food, and exercise. When they reached the pearly
gates,
St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a
beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.

As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was
going to
cost. "It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven." Next they
went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home
backed up to.
They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the
course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on
earth. The
old man asked, "what are the green fees?". Peter's reply, "This is
heaven, you play for free." Next they went to the club house and saw
the lavish
buffet lunch with the cuisine's of the wo rld laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This
is heaven,
it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where
are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter
lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like of
whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is
Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat
and
stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to
calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his
wifeand
said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your bran muffins, I
could have been here ten years ago!"