Medical Info Women Should Know

[RETIRED]

Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So, what's your question? Q?: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q?: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You 're using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving". 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7.. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space." 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, ivory & eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN

[Allan at Wallan]

Well I got a few laughs out of them.

No other responses.

Allan

[tea lady]

So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

[johnc]

So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

Isn't it just a matter of changing the sugar and salt shakers over and letting the boss take his own medicine TL.

[Jim Carroll]

So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

Better put a couple more in I think he need sweetening up

[Grommett]

Dangerous ground

[jmk89]

What happened to Estrogen issue number 8? I'm sure it was a doozy

[tea lady]

Maybe there is Estrogen in the sugar bowl? I don't take sugar in my tea!

[tea lady]

What happened to Estrogen issue number 8? I'm sure it was a doozy

The dog ate it!

[RETIRED]

So how many sugars do you have in your tea again?

2, when you aren't trying to poison me by forgetting.

[Tim the Timber Turner]

What happened to Estrogen issue number 8?

Pick any of the following.

1: He wasn't game?

2: Julie was watching over his shoulder?

3: TL was pointing a blunt skew at his delicate bits.

4: He's just a big wooss (you know what I mean, I just don't know how to spell it).

Cheers

Tim

[RETIRED]

No 8 was deleted from the one sent to me but if you really want to know do a search on "10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES".

[tea lady]

No 8 doesn't make sense and also isn't funny!

[cava]

Dangerous ground

[munruben]

good one.