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Thread: What pets write in their diaries
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12th October 2009, 12:44 PM #1
Big Bad Bill
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
- Location
- Newcastle Australia
- Age
- 67
- Posts
- 22
What pets write in their diaries
WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this
means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe. For now................
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12th October 2009, 12:58 PM #2Cheers Rum Pig
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
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12th October 2009, 01:04 PM #3anne-maria.
Tea Lady
(White with none)
Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.
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12th October 2009, 03:52 PM #4
Absolutely brilliant, you've obviously been to my place whilst I was at work
.
To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional
Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.
What could possibly go wrong.
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13th October 2009, 08:25 AM #5
very good
Cheers Fred
The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with the light on.
http://www.redbubble.com/people/fredsmi ... t_creative"
Updated 26 April 2010
http://sites.google.com/site/pomfred/
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