What pets write in their diaries

[robbo266317]

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES



Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......





8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!





Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...





Day 983 of my captivity...



My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.



Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.



The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.



Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.



There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
this
means and how to use it to my advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.



I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.



The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe. For now................

[Rum Pig]

[tea lady]

[Grumpy John]

Absolutely brilliant, you've obviously been to my place whilst I was at work .

[fenderbelly]

very good