The Pencil thief

[Mike Busby]

There is a pencil thief in my shed. There must be. I bought 3 new carpenters pencils the other day. Sharpened one and put it in the cracked brew mug on the window sill where I put all my pencils. The other two I hid in a drawer. Now whatever creature the pencil thief is he/it has ferreted out all my pencils and has now made a secret nest of them somewhere. That along with my yellow wax crayon for marking steel, my engineers chalk and sundry other items like my straight and bent scribes, combination square and a few old school compasses I used to use for drawing circles have all gone.

The last pencil disappeared yesterday and this morning I went back to the shed to find both new pencils now in a different drawer and one of the scribes has turned up out of the blue. My wife thinks I am going nuts, she could be right but if I catch the mongrel he will have a very sore rear end from my size 11 EEE boot. Oh crap now my biro has disappeared. The bugger is in the house now. Oh hang on it's behind my ear.


Dooh just went into the laundry - no mans land I call it - and there sitting on top of the second fridge is a couple of cups chock full of pencils, compasess and scribes. The mongrel is storing them in the laundry. ....
Whats that dear .....
Empty my pockets before putting my clothes in the dirty clothes basket??? Why?????

(Originally posted by myself on Weatherzone forums under my user name of Sir Boab tree - because I look like one)

[tea lady]

The existence of worm holes between sheds has been also posited here. Pencils and screws vanish in one persons shed, only to reappear in somebody else's shed half a world away. May explain socks too.

[jimbur]

Nothing explains socks. How can they change colour between putting them on and going out?
On the bright side, it's surprising what will come out of the washing machine safely - "paper" money, camera memory sticks, though paper hankies still give trouble.
Cheers,
Jim

[Charleville]

It must be the same bloke who keeps pinching my steel rules and then returns them to another part of the workshop where they ought not to be.





.

[Kev Y.]

Don't look now, but I think there is a whole band of them.. I am having the same trouble here...

[Poppa]

Its my wife. She steals my glasses all the time too. And my phone. Drives me mad. And then when I blame her she denies all knowledge. The hide of it!

I put a remote control through the wash a couple of months ago. Still works. Great technology.

[lightwood]

When you find the scoundrel, could you ask him to return the Windsor Beader I bought at Ken Turner's Auction a few weeks ago. I know I put it down on a bench somewhere, or maybe in a draw, but I'm certain some bugga has made off with it....
It looks like this one, if you see it, please return it.
http://www.antiqbuyer.com/images/ARC...indsor-box.jpg
Regards,
Peter

[RufflyRustic]

...and the new house numbers I bought years ago to put on the fence, when we got one. Well, we got one, couldn't find thenumbers, so I bought more, fence fell over, got replaced and I still can't find the original numbers I bought

The fence is on its second set of numbers and the shed has swallowed 3 lots to date.

[jimbur]

...and the new house numbers I bought years ago to put on the fence, when we got one. Well, we got one, couldn't find thenumbers, so I bought more, fence fell over, got replaced and I still can't find the original numbers I bought

The fence is on its second set of numbers and the shed has swallowed 3 lots to date.

Where do you live? 666, Desolation Row?
Cheers,
Jim

[lightwood]

Where do you live? 666, Desolation Row?
Cheers,
Jim

Ahhh Jim....the Dylan FAN???
..................
Cinderella, she seems so easy
“It takes one to know one,” she smiles
And puts her hands in her back pockets
Bette Davis style
And in comes Romeo, he’s moaning
“You Belong to Me I Believe”
And someone says, “You’re in the wrong place my friend
You better leave”
And the only sound that’s left
After the ambulances go
Is Cinderella sweeping up
On Desolation Row
...............................

[AlexS]

Keep an eye out for a one-legged man. He steals socks from me whenever he needs one.

[Lignum]

The existence of worm holes between sheds has been also posited here. Pencils and screws vanish in one persons shed, only to reappear in somebody else's shed half a world away. May explain socks too.

They disappear down the worm hole only to reappear as coat hangers.

[Kev Y.]

why is it they always take our valuable stuff and never make off with the bills??

[jimbur]

[QUOTE=lightwood;1204413]Ahhh Jim....the Dylan FAN???
..................
And who else is there?
Cheers,
Jim

[jimbur]

[quote=jimbur;1204436]

Ahhh Jim....the Dylan FAN???
..................
And who else is there?
Cheers,
Jim

ps. and the best lines are:
Everyone is making love,
or else expecting rain.