Enlightenment

[Iain]

Doing lots of writing and googled whilst having a break......

"Bollocks" is a vulgar slang term meaning testicles in British English. The word is often used figuratively, most commonly as a noun to mean "nonsense" or as an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, but also in a number of other ways; as an adjective to mean "poor quality" or "useless", and in various compound expressions (see below). Due to its versatility, bollocks has been called the Swiss Army Knife of andrological profanities.

Perhaps the best-known international use of the term in this sense is in the title of a Sex Pistols album. Testimony in a resulting lawsuit over the "obscene" term demonstrated that in Old English the word referred to a priest, and could also be used to mean "nonsense" (see Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols for details).

On the 6th Of November 2005, the Manchester United Football Team manager, Alex Ferguson, got out his "bollocks" on live TV!

5.1 Shouting game



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Alternative spellings
The word is sometimes spelled as bollox or bollix, usually by residents of countries other than the British Isles who do not quite understand its meaning. Residents of said countries may respond that they consider bollix a separate word meaning to make a foolish mistake that detracts from a work in progress, as in "The project was going well, but my boss bollixed it up."

"Bollix" may also be used to refer to a particularly nasty or awkward person, as in "He's a right Bollix" [Ireland].

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Negative uses
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Bollocks!
Bollocks! can be used as a standalone interjection to express strong disagreement. This can be expanded, for example, to "What a complete and utter pile of bollocks!"

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Talking bollocks
In this context it means talking nonsense or even ########, for example "don't listen to him, he's talking bollocks". Talking bollocks in a corporate context is referred to as bollockspeak. Bollockspeak tends to be buzzword-laden and largely content-free. "Rupert, we'll have to leverage our synergies to facilitate a paradigm shift by Q4" is an example of management bollockspeak. The act of talking bollocks whilst waving one's arms about wildly is referred to as testiculation.

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Dropping a bollock
To drop a bollock describes the malfunction of an operation, or the art of messing something up.

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Bollocking
Bollocking usually refers to a good verbal chastisement for something one has done incorrectly. i.e. "I didn't do my homework and got a right bollocking off Mr Smith" The term is used frequently in the British Army recruitment process where it is mutually understood if you err then you will get bollocked or get a bollocking - in most cases, these bollockings will be without physical contact but will be a psychological assault on a person's character, look or actions.

Originally, a bollocking was a serious assault, and the term comes from the bollock dagger, popular between the 13th and 18th centuries.

Rollocking is sometimes used in place of bollocking when use of the word could cause offence.

Bollocking can also be used as a reinforcing adjective: "He hasn't a bollocking clue!".

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Positive uses
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The bollocks
The bollocks - and the definite article is important here - can be used to mean something good when you're talking about a person or object, "My new car is the bollocks!" or "That new chef down the road, she's the bollocks!". Non-native speakers should exercise extreme caution when using the term in this manner. The antonymic property of bollocks and the [dog's] bollocks is often used in humor, such as in the film The 51st State.

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Top bollock[s]
Top bollock is also used in this context, "This beer is top bollock". Used in the plural, top bollocks often refers to women's breasts, "Look at Tracy's top bollocks - you don't get many of those to the pound."

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Dog's bollocks
Another usage with a positive sense is the dog's bollocks, based on the notion that a dog's bollocks must taste good, as they spend so much time licking them. Sometimes this is shortened to just "the dog's" or "the bollocks" (see above).

This is a recent term (the Online Etymology Dictionary dates it to 1989, although it was in use in Ireland before that time), but its origins are obscure:

etymologist Eric Partridge believes the term comes from the printers' mark of a colon and a dash;
another theory suggests it is a spoonerism of "box, deluxe", in much the same way that "box, standard" was corrupted to "bog standard", although this etymology is anything but certain. See article on WorldWideWords website.
"The dog's bollocks" fits in with several rhyming reduplications of positive meaning that were popular during the 1920s ("the bee's knees," "the cat's pajamas"). More recent expressions that follow the same pattern are "the mutt's nuts" or "the dog's danglies". A further positive aspect of "the dog's bollocks" is derived from bollocks their prominence or notability, as in the expression "it sticks out like the dog's bollocks".

The Dog's Bollocks is also the name of a ska band from Atlanta, Georgia. See website.

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Dog's Bollock Syndrome
Dog's Bollock Syndrome can be used to describe an excessive use of technology or visual aid, such as in an enormous use of Flash animations on a website. It is derived from following riddle: "Q: Why do dogs lick their bollocks? A: Because they can". In a technological context, the question could be "Why has the web developer included a three-minute animated intro to this page?", prompting the answer: "Dog's Bollock Syndrome, innit. Because he can".

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Chuffed to one's bollocks
The phrase chuffed to [his] bollocks describes someone who is very pleased with himself. One example is The Homecoming by Nobel laureate Harold Pinter. The phrase provided a serious challenge to translators of his work. See BBC article.

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Ballocks
There is a type of late-medieval dagger that is known to weapon and armor specialists as a "ballock knife" or "ballock-hafted knife". This dagger has a pair of symmetrical oval swellings located on each side of the hilt at the guard, depicting a clear resemblance to genitalia. An example can be found in the Wallace Collection in London and is depicted in the official catalogue there. "Ballock" is a variation of "bollock", which was in everyday usage in the medieval period, albeit rarely heard today. The connection with "ball" in the sense of testis is evident.

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Other uses
Bollock head is a British term for a shaven head, but can also refer to someone who is intellectually challenged (similar to bollock brain). Bollock chops is used to describe someone with a rounded face physiognomy. Bollock breath is a general term of abuse, likely for a person suffering from halitosis. Bollock buster refers to any very heavy item, especially one that may cause a hernia if an attempt is made to lift it.

Both icy weather and hard work run the risk of orchidectomy: "It's minus twenty outside - I'll freeze my bollocks off!", or "Fred worked his bollocks off on that last project". In this context, one can also work one's bollocks "to the bone".

Used in singular form to describe being in the nude: "stark bollock naked". Bollocky is Australian slang for "naked"; in the bollocky-buff is naval slang for the same. However, bollock naked is naval slang for spaghetti bolognese.

Another common usage in Ireland and the UK - "....a right kick in the bollocks" - is used to describe a significant set-back or disappointment. In Ireland, a "kick in the bollocks" is the name of a non-alcoholic cocktail of Red Bull and red lemonade.

A related term bolloxed (more rarely: bollocksed) means "bladdered", or "drunk". For example: "We had 12 pints of Stella last night and we was [sic] well bolloxed".

Because the word "bollocks" is not generally understood in American English, it was used by one of the subjects in the 2004 television program "Brat Camp", in which troubled British teenagers were sent to an American wilderness reformation camp. In it, participants were forbidden by the camp rules from swearing, but since the supervisors did not recognize the term "bollocks" as a swear, one member was able to use it to relieve his frustration with impunity. The program included a brief segment in which he begged the (British) camera crew not to reveal the meaning of the word to the supervisors.

On the Internet, bollocks is sometimes synonymous with "miscellaneous" in some blogs. It is used to list stories that do not fit in any other particular category (See Threadwatch).

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Shouting game
A game called "bollocks" exists in which the players take turns to shout the eponymous word. Each shout is required to be louder than the last, starting with a whisper and ending with a full-blooded yell. This is usually played by schoolboys, to whom the idea of shouting a proscribed word in public has a sort of risqué appeal and has been used in the Saturday morning childrens' TV show Dick and Dom in da Bungalow but using the word Bogies instead. A 'Mexican wave bollocks' variation (where the fun is in getting as many other people to shout the word as possible) is often played by overexcited children away from their parents for the first time in the campsites of British Music Festivals, including Glastonbury, T in The Park, etc. People often break the chain by shouting '####' instead but this usually results in it starting over again.

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollocks"

[craigb]

What a load of bollocks Iain.

[Gumby]

Slow day at work mate ?

[Termite]

Thanks Iain, I always wanted to know that.

[Driver]

We're greatly indebted to you, Iain, for focusing the penetrating beam of your intellect on one of my own favourite expressions.

You're the dog's bollocks, innit?

[Iain]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/k/knackers.asp
To further your search for enlightenment

[Driver]

Don't know whether any of you blokes have noticed but it occurs to me (can't think why) that "knacker" rhymes with "lacquer". Hang on a minute ....

[Iain]

And glamour with hammer..........................
Lustre with cluster (wasn't he involved with the US Cavalry?)

[Termite]

And glamour with hammer..........................
Lustre with cluster (wasn't he involved with the US Cavalry?)

Yep, Cluster lost his lustre, and a few other things, at the Big Little Horn.

[Termite]

And glamour with hammer..........................
Lustre with cluster (wasn't he involved with the US Cavalry?)

Yep, Cluster lost his lustre, and a few other things, at the Big Little Horn.

[Driver]

There's a hell of an echo in here!

[outback]

Echo In Here

[Cliff Rogers]

MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMangos!

[echnidna]

If I said I had been enlightened
that would be pure bollocks

[scooter]

That's the duck's nuts Iain


Cheers...............Sean