Story time with uncle Dave

[JackoH]

...Jacuzzi. (Don't these carvers have fun!) I'll then be able to......

[macca2]

ensure you get a real buzz as I plug in my Dremil while still in the Jasuzzi. This should..............

[Dennis Hill]

...carve all night, or until I run out of.............

[knuckles]

wood and then........

[Dazza007]

........ I can anointe you both with "U-beaut EEE" buffing my fresh carving of all four.......... I mean two of your fine forms with a soft cloth. After this I can present both of you .......

[ubeaut]

real mens stuff like brilcream, Y fronts, FJ Holdens and.....

[Dennis Hill]

....As this is suposed to be a woodworking thingo, the latest in wood butchering saws and stuff.....

[Dazza007]

...... which brings us to a much asked question. Should I use "U-Beaut" Shellawax after using EEE or is Carnauba Wax far better?

[Dazza007]

......... collect all 52 pieces of the now destroyed project. Needless to say ..........

[Dennis Hill]

......it will make an excelent fire to cook the left-over bits from the polishing expurt, especially if they are added to a broth of lizzerd's gizzerds and........

[knuckles]

and a large helping of common sense.Youz guys have really lost the plot haven't yez.

At this point the 2 maidens said we're out of this story cos yous guys are a bunch of crazys and most of yous have only got one thing on your mind and it isn't woodwork. We think yez should all......

[JackoH]

.....lock yourselves in your sheds and play with your tools 'til bedtime. Then if you're very good, maybe, we will....

[Dazza007]

...... let you turn a nice piece of Mulga burl to make a unique platter or even a vase.

[Dennis Hill]

....going to be a real feat of endurance but nowhere near as bad as it was for her having to look after us childeren when we......

[Dazza007]

..... were just little splinters. Oh, the times we had causing havoc and kaos with our pet blue heeler dog gettin' in front of flamin' big Thermodyne Mack trucks and sniffin' the back ends of ........