So what's all this about, then?

[echnidna]

corners of his mouth and smiled, saying .....

[ozwinner]

whats a matter you, hey, shut upayah face.................

[ernknot]

"I couldda bin a liftin ma shirta insteadda ma mout. Musta be gettin olde" He said tucking his shirt in and helping Michelle up off her knees. She fought him off vigorously and wanted to remain on her knees because she .....................

[ozwinner]

saw there was a nasty pizza stain on the carpet, that she so wanted, this girl would eat anything ( keep it clean ), even old pizza off the carpet.Why!! she even ate from the dogs bowl, haveing biffed up the dog first.

This is one mean girl, or is she really a girl ( insert dramatic music here )........

[silentC]

... (all the actors look up at the sound of the music. They look at each other, shrug, and go back into character) (now wheree was I?) or is she really a girl misunderstood? "Yes," cries Michelle "I erm misoonderstood. Queet a lot rahlly. It's becoose of this uttrageous Fronch eccent".

[Driver]

At this, Captain Pugwash sprang, once again, to his feet. (And once again it is worthy of mention that this did not entail any very impressive athleticism on Pugwash's part - his inside leg measurement being well within the scope of quite a short tape measure).

Once having regained an upright stance, Pugwash stumped across to Michelle's side and, gazing upwards at her with what he fondly - and inaccurately - believed to be a seductive smile, said

"I find your accent quite charming, m'dear. And I have understood every word you have said."

"Well, sank yew, Mon Capitaine," said Michelle, patting Pugwash on the head. "Yew are a vairy gallant leetle Engleesh saileeng personne. Now, everyone! Leesten vairy carefoolly, for I shall say zees only wence ...."

[vsquizz]

"neever pit all yur chikerns in ze one hat, no no, wat ze goz aroun comz ze back to yur, no no, mezour thrice cut twice Oh I gives zis ow doz you says it, sayings to the burds.

However, just on the other side of the universal joint a bunch of rather fiercesome Klingons were preparing to attack all and sundry (they didn't know that sundry was on holidays at the time) just as soon as the re-runs of F-Troop had finished on Foxtel.

Meanwhile in another part of the Delta Quadrant every woodies hero Clunk Hardwood had just finished shooting the bejesus out of about 49 tree hugging greenies. The last of tree huggers sat trembling while Clunk learned over him with his 50 round Paslode coil nailer. Clunk said "I know what your thinking.....

[ernknot]

punk! Is this gun loaded or did he fire his last shot! Punk! Run, and "make my day"

[Driver]

... you're thinking that a GMC nailer would have been cheaper and would have a 2-year warranty (for home, not trade, use). However, my little tree-hugging greenie person, the fact is that I, like many dedicated woodworking people, feel very strongly about the issue of quality versus low price. Er, am I, by any mischance, boring you?" (Clunk had noticed that the greeny's eyes were beginning to glaze over)

"Oh no!" said the tree-hugger. "Not at ...

[vsquizz]

"not another MIK Catalogue freak!. Lord Help me" screamed the tree hugger, and the Time Lord of woodies voice was heard from overhead "Nope not today, sorry" so Clunk pumped another 25 rounds into the greenie because he had bought the optional 100 round extender mag .

At this point Clunk Hardwood (the woodies hero) was hell bent on eliminating all wood chippers from the universe, however he was blissfully unaware of the impending Klingon invaision back at 's big M&T.

"Today" said Clunk "might just be a good day to...

[echnidna]

have a barbie in the bush

[Grunt]

or to try on that new dress I got or ...

[craigb]

do my Captain Mainwaring impression.

"No, bugger it" thought Clunk. "Instead I'll just stretch out under this tree and have a nap"

So Clunk slipped off into the land of nod where he had a most curious dream indeed.

He dreamed he was on a leaky submarine that had ....

[ozwinner]

fly wire doors...................

[echnidna]

all of a sudden Clunk realised the leaks were due to ...