What's your favourite saying?

[Daddles]

An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope

Richard

[Driver]

We had a chief draughstman called the Lead Balloon because his favourite saying was "Don't let me down, lads".

[shaunburgess]

My all time favourite, said to me many times by an old friend is ****** you and ya dog.


Which i don't think i would really like, not sure about the dog sometimes though!
Sorry to bring the board back in to disrepute but with the caracters that are mebers here where else does it belong?

[Daddles]

Hey, I think he's being rude to us ... or giving us a compliment. :confused: Hard to tell sometimes

Richard

[knucklehead]

Don't get me started on nick names!

Thiers the bloke we call "Pothole".................... cause every one avoids him.
Then there was "Budgie"....cause he was always looking in the mirror (who's a pretty boy then).
and "Porridge" ................ cause nobody likes porridge.
and ofcourse "Tickets" ..................cause he was full of himself.

[AlexS]

Once knew a bloke called "Draino"...clean around the bend.

[Harry72]

An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope

Richard

We had one of those too(he's just retired), his nic was Morph!

[Iain]

Had a bloke I worked with called 'Marvin' after the paranoid android, he never got the joke.
Everything was negative with him, 'It's a beautiful day' 'I'll probably get sunburnt'.....'Going in the office tattslotto' 'If we win think of the tax I'll have to pay', it just went on and on.............
A friend used to work with the office backstabber named Vernon, it very quickly changed to Vermin.
And a Eugene in a club I used to belong to was always called Urine after a certain incident involving too many beers and nowhere to go.
And finally, while I was in Primary school we did a Christmas play, Wind in the Willows and one Ian Thomas (not me) got the part of Toad.
He is still called toad today, poor bastard, we were only 11 at the time.

[E. maculata]

once got away with calling a 6'5" 18 stone 23 yr old ex Aust rep rugby front rower who work with me a Necrophilliac Hermaphodite, when it clicked as to what I'd called him he laughed his head off then used it as his pet insult for a while...................thank christ he saw the funny side, cause when I said it he was within arms reach of me.




Bruce C
(advance apology to any such endowed persons with such inclinations that may take offence to the above.

[silentC]

That reminds me of something a mate of mine said to a bouncer once. We were in a pub in Bathurst and we got talking to this bouncer. I can't remember what the conversation was but he said something a bit clever and my mate said "You're a bit of a fart smeller, aren't you?". Well, you could've heard a pin drop. "What did you say?", says he. "I said you're a bit of a fart smeller. You know, smart feller." The bouncer didn't know if he'd been insulted or not, so he just walked off. I was lying on the floor by then.

And then there was the time I was talking to this thug I knew from school. We were looking out a window at a night club at a building across the road. We saw a woman come to the window and open it. He says "What's the old bag doing hanging out the window." I said "I didn't know your mum lived over there?" He looked at me and, unusually for him, decided to ask me what I'd said, rather than just thumping me one as he normally would have. "Oh, I thought you said 'what's me old lady doing hanging out the window'". He looked at me and tried to work out whether I was pulling his leg, while I put on my best innocent face. He probably still doesn't know what I meant, and I'm not telling...

[Ashore]

Saw a few at sea and once named it would stick wherever you sailed
"Lobster " head full of s*** & an a*** full of meat
two buckets , couldn't carry that much s*** in one
Twin brothers the younger was "afterbirth"
anoyher set of twin lecco's empty head & the oxygen waster
Smoothie got that in port
Tampax enough said
two guns , don't listen just come out blazing
Fourty Questions
and The skipper who climbed a tree and tried ot cut a branch off with a power saw , after they sewed his thumb back on is now Captian Craw


Rgds
H.S.


. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

[Driver]

In between school and uni, I worked in a soap factory for a couple of months. There were two blokes who had been there for years - best mates.

They were an ill-matched pair. One was a huge, athletic-looking character and the other was about five foot nothing and about the same width. The little fat bloke had five kids and the big athlete had none.

The little fella was known as Big Dick and the big fella was Dead Balls. They were known as Big and Dead for short. The joke was so old it had no sting any more. People called them Big and Dead to their faces.

True story.

[AlexS]

In between school and uni, I worked in a soap factory for a couple of months.

There has to be a joke in there somewhere

[Ashore]

There has to be a joke in there somewhere

Are you saying he was all washed up before he went to uni


Another of the duo names was truck and trailer saw one saw the otherfficeffice" />>>

or the two union delegates Bubble and squeak one would agitate and the other would agree>>

>>

. The trouble with life is there's no background music

[Driver]

There has to be a joke in there somewhere

Regrettably I can't offer a free pot of MFKL for the best joke - because I sent it to Al