The Code of Practice

[Dan]

Dan – great work on the issue of clothing (aka shed attire). Some of your suggestions are very worthwhile and some perhaps a bit too narrowly-defined.

Yeah, got a bit carried away, edit as you see fit.

No sign of Angelina yet, by the way, I think she might have stood me up.

I think she's temporarily distracted by that Brad Pitt clown (bet he doesn't even have a shed:eek: ). It's only a matter of time mate.

[doug the slug]

Bandannas are blokely attire, no question. Scarves are worn by chaps.

and what do we call the ones who wear cravats?:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

[Auld Bassoon]

G'day Driver,

Look forward to the next revision.

This should be included in Best of the Best, and seconders to pass my motion?

Seconded! Definitely - and a Gold Star to Driver!

[doug the slug]

This should be included in Best of the Best, and seconders to pass my motion?

Best of the best? i think it deserves greater accolades than that! put it in the Forum Rules

[Driver]

OK. Here's the latest update. I've added an an Index page at the front and an Acknowledgements page at the back.

In the body of the text, the additions and amendments are highlighted in yellow and they include

- A very important addition to sub-para 4.2 - The purpose of the shed.

- A new paragraph on Visiting Rights (sub-para 5.12).

- A vitally important section on Cock-ups in para 7.

- A whole new section on Bloke's Attire (para 10)

Unless anyone can come up with something vital that we might inadvertently have missed, I reckon we're close to having a finished Code of Practice. Whaddaya reckon?

Col

[Driver]

Well that's interesting. It seems that one of the immutable Laws of Shed Physics also applies to the drafting of Codes of Practice.

I've just found the compulsory cock-up (in accordance with sub para 7.4 - Cock-ups). Well, two of them actually. So I am exercising my rights under sub para 7.4.3.2 and claiming a design feature.

However, here's a further revision, including a section on "A place for everything ... etc" and a corrected typo on the Acknowledgements page.

Toodle Pip!

Col

[DanP]

Blokes will not make physical contact with each other in any way in the shed unless,

1. in the case of inadvertant contact during the passing of a tool or beverage.
2. in the case of first meeting a new bloke where the shaking of hands is permitted.
3. in the case of medical emergency and only by suitably qualified paramedics. All other blokes present will stand to one side and utter appropriate sledging regarding the soft penile nature of the bloke being treated.

In the case of another mate entering the shed, he may only be greeted by a slight nod of the head and a barely audible grunt of acknowledgement.

[DanP]

A bloke will use up every sharp tool in the shed including those not really appropriate to the task at hand, prior to sharpening any tool. The bloke will only then sharpen said tools on an "as required" basis.

[DanP]

Each Code of Practice should have a dictionary or glossary of terms included. My first suggestion for the dictionary is:

Mallet: Any item close at hand with sufficient heft to complete the task.

[RETIRED]

Day off Dan? OR better yet a slow day at work?

[DanP]

On carers leave.

MrsP had an operation Tues so had to take some time off.

[DanP]

Where a bloke is required to leave the environs of the shed, he should do so wearing a nail bag and with a blunt and half chewed chippies pencil behind his ear. Whilst out of the sanctity of the shed, he should stand and stare meaningfully on several occasions. This is to convince curious onlookers of his busy nature and deter any thoughts of giving the bloke an unblokely task.

[DanP]

16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (ie, can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

However, any woman who shows superior knowledge on any matter whatsoever, shall be banned forthwith.

[Driver]

This is good work, Dan. It closes off a few gaps in the Code's provisions. Your recommendations will be incorporated into the next update.

However, I reckon you might have opened a whole new field of endeavour in suggesting a glossary. Worthwhile, there can be little doubt. But I wonder if it doesn't need another document, separate from the Code of Practice.

Col

[Driver]

It occurs to me that if you want to print a version of the Code, it might be more convenient in A5 size rather than A4.

The smaller format will sit handily alongside your copy of Neil's seminal work: "A Polishers Handbook". Here's what the two formats look like alongside Neil's book.

When I post the next update, I'll include separate files for each of the two sizes.

The front covers with the illustration will have to be posted as separate files because they would otherwise exceed the 100 KB limit for attachments.

Col