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  1. #76
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    South Oz, the big smokey bit in the middle
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    68
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    1,914

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    An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope

    Richard

  2. #77
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    Aug 2002
    Location
    Perth, WA
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    77
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    884

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    We had a chief draughstman called the Lead Balloon because his favourite saying was "Don't let me down, lads".
    Driver of the Forums
    Lord of the Manor of Upper Legover

  3. #78
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Hilltop
    Age
    56
    Posts
    36

    Talking

    My all time favourite, said to me many times by an old friend is ****** you and ya dog.


    Which i don't think i would really like, not sure about the dog sometimes though!
    Sorry to bring the board back in to disrepute but with the caracters that are mebers here where else does it belong?

  4. #79
    Join Date
    May 2003
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    South Oz, the big smokey bit in the middle
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    68
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    Hey, I think he's being rude to us ... or giving us a compliment. :confused: Hard to tell sometimes

    Richard

  5. #80
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Brisbane
    Age
    53
    Posts
    108

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    Don't get me started on nick names!

    Thiers the bloke we call "Pothole".................... cause every one avoids him.
    Then there was "Budgie"....cause he was always looking in the mirror (who's a pretty boy then).
    and "Porridge" ................ cause nobody likes porridge.
    and ofcourse "Tickets" ..................cause he was full of himself.
    Last edited by knucklehead; 27th June 2005 at 01:48 PM. Reason: wording
    Specializing in O positive timber stains

  6. #81
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    78
    Posts
    1,332

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    Once knew a bloke called "Draino"...clean around the bend.
    Visit my website
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  7. #82
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Port Pirie SA
    Age
    52
    Posts
    0

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    Quote Originally Posted by Daddles
    An oldie but when I first heard it, it was applied with gritted teeth to the yardsmen where I worked - he was called Opium, because he was a slow working dope

    Richard
    We had one of those too(he's just retired), his nic was Morph!
    ....................................................................

  8. #83
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    2,238

    Default

    Had a bloke I worked with called 'Marvin' after the paranoid android, he never got the joke.
    Everything was negative with him, 'It's a beautiful day' 'I'll probably get sunburnt'.....'Going in the office tattslotto' 'If we win think of the tax I'll have to pay', it just went on and on.............
    A friend used to work with the office backstabber named Vernon, it very quickly changed to Vermin.
    And a Eugene in a club I used to belong to was always called Urine after a certain incident involving too many beers and nowhere to go.
    And finally, while I was in Primary school we did a Christmas play, Wind in the Willows and one Ian Thomas (not me) got the part of Toad.
    He is still called toad today, poor bastard, we were only 11 at the time.
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  9. #84
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Moo, G'day from CASINO NSW the real home of Beef.
    Age
    59
    Posts
    445

    Default

    once got away with calling a 6'5" 18 stone 23 yr old ex Aust rep rugby front rower who work with me a Necrophilliac Hermaphodite, when it clicked as to what I'd called him he laughed his head off then used it as his pet insult for a while...................thank christ he saw the funny side, cause when I said it he was within arms reach of me.




    Bruce C
    (advance apology to any such endowed persons with such inclinations that may take offence to the above.

  10. #85
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Pambula
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    59
    Posts
    5,026

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    That reminds me of something a mate of mine said to a bouncer once. We were in a pub in Bathurst and we got talking to this bouncer. I can't remember what the conversation was but he said something a bit clever and my mate said "You're a bit of a fart smeller, aren't you?". Well, you could've heard a pin drop. "What did you say?", says he. "I said you're a bit of a fart smeller. You know, smart feller." The bouncer didn't know if he'd been insulted or not, so he just walked off. I was lying on the floor by then.

    And then there was the time I was talking to this thug I knew from school. We were looking out a window at a night club at a building across the road. We saw a woman come to the window and open it. He says "What's the old bag doing hanging out the window." I said "I didn't know your mum lived over there?" He looked at me and, unusually for him, decided to ask me what I'd said, rather than just thumping me one as he normally would have. "Oh, I thought you said 'what's me old lady doing hanging out the window'". He looked at me and tried to work out whether I was pulling his leg, while I put on my best innocent face. He probably still doesn't know what I meant, and I'm not telling...
    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."

  11. #86
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Newcastle
    Age
    73
    Posts
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    Saw a few at sea and once named it would stick wherever you sailed
    "Lobster " head full of s*** & an a*** full of meat
    two buckets , couldn't carry that much s*** in one
    Twin brothers the younger was "afterbirth"
    anoyher set of twin lecco's empty head & the oxygen waster
    Smoothie got that in port
    Tampax enough said
    two guns , don't listen just come out blazing
    Fourty Questions
    and The skipper who climbed a tree and tried ot cut a branch off with a power saw , after they sewed his thumb back on is now Captian Craw


    Rgds
    H.S.


    . Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.



  12. #87
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Perth, WA
    Age
    77
    Posts
    884

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    In between school and uni, I worked in a soap factory for a couple of months. There were two blokes who had been there for years - best mates.

    They were an ill-matched pair. One was a huge, athletic-looking character and the other was about five foot nothing and about the same width. The little fat bloke had five kids and the big athlete had none.

    The little fella was known as Big Dick and the big fella was Dead Balls. They were known as Big and Dead for short. The joke was so old it had no sting any more. People called them Big and Dead to their faces.

    True story.
    Driver of the Forums
    Lord of the Manor of Upper Legover

  13. #88
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    78
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    1,332

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    Quote Originally Posted by Driver
    In between school and uni, I worked in a soap factory for a couple of months.
    There has to be a joke in there somewhere
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  14. #89
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Newcastle
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    73
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlexS
    There has to be a joke in there somewhere
    Are you saying he was all washed up before he went to uni


    Another of the duo names was truck and trailer saw one saw the otherfficeffice" />>>

    or the two union delegates Bubble and squeak one would agitate and the other would agree>>

    >>

    . The trouble with life is there's no background music

  15. #90
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    Aug 2002
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    Perth, WA
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    77
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlexS
    There has to be a joke in there somewhere
    Regrettably I can't offer a free pot of MFKL for the best joke - because I sent it to Al
    Driver of the Forums
    Lord of the Manor of Upper Legover

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