The Code of Practice

[Driver]

Mate, if Angelina Jolie wants to drive my Land Rover then bugger the Rules of Blokeness, the Blokeness Quotient, the Code of Practice and you bloody lot too!

I'm yours Angelina, so's me bloody Land Rover! Yee Haaaaa!

[Dan]

One aspect that hasn't been covered in the code is shed attire. For me this usually involves either King Gee or Ruggers shorts, T-shirt and thongs for summer, with the addition of a Flannelette shirt for winter. What say the rest of the committee?

[Driver]

One aspect that hasn't been covered in the code is shed attire. For me this usually involves either King Gee or Ruggers shorts, T-shirt and thongs for summer, with the addition of a Flannelette shirt for winter. What say the rest of the committee?

Good thinking. Let's have your fully codified contribution while I stand on a corner - dangling me car keys and waiting for Angelina.

[doug the slug]

... shed attire. For me this usually involves either King Gee or Ruggers shorts,

I dont like ruggers!!!! i hate ruggers!!!!!

the pockets are just wrong! all the change falls out of your pockets whenever you sit down

[Cliff Rogers]

Attire comes under the bit about the bloke doing whatever he likes in his own shed.

Maybe something could be said about the attire of visitors but I think we risk making the document a horse choker if we to go as far as stating the bloody obvious like NO PINK TUTUS (unless you are Angelina Jolie )

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Even if Angelina Jolie was hanging over my shoulder at the lathe,I'd still insist on a minimum dress requirement of ear-muffs & dust-mask/respirator.

Hmmm... come to that, in her case I'd be a very happy chappy if it was the maximum dress requirement too.

[Dan]

Let's have your fully codified contribution while I stand on a corner - dangling me car keys and waiting for Angelina.

Ok, try this.

9. Shed clothing shall consist of pants and shirt, footwear optional with a minimum standard being thongs, boots are ok, underwear is discouraged.

9.1 Materials

9.1.1 Clothing shall be primarily cotton (preferably drill or flanellette) with small amounts of polyester allowable in T-shirts.
9.1.2 Boots shall be made from leather.
9.1.4 Thongs shall be rubber and of the double plug variety.

9.2 Colour
9.2.1 Clothing may be any colour other than pink and should be at least one shade lighter than the original colour.

9.3 Prohibited items
9.3.1 Trucker Caps, Berets, Scarves, Nylon Tracksuits and any item that causes concern from either yourself or significant other when contaminated with paint or glue.

9.4 Exemptions
9.4.1 Nylon football shorts may be worn only if you were a member of a team or have supported a team for a period of no less than five years.
9.4.2 Sports type shoes may be worn by those who experience significant discomfort without them.
9.4.2 For Blokes in cold climates a woolen jumper and beanie is allowable with a preference given to moth eaten items.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Errrmmm... Dan? Does a bandanna count as a scarf?

Hint: the answer better bloody well be NO, unless you wanna meet the shop dog. :mad)

Oh... and what's the difference between a trucker cap and a forum cap, besides the choice of advertising?

[Waldo]

G'day,

Shed attire, well for me that counts as jeans with at least one hole on the left leg of my jeans (somehow all my jeans I wear in the shed wear a large hole on the left leg :confused: ), shirt and now jumpers with paint all over them (all your fault Skew)

And now my shed attire has become usual garb for when I'm working my day job, it's only when I see clients that I look respectable. My shed attire also transends to going down to Bunnies or other places.

So, is this corelation of shed attire and lack of caring what the general public thinks of how we dress reflect back on us or do we really care what they think? After all you can't judge a book by its cover.

A great document Driver, worthing of printing and for putting up for general reading thereof when others visit the legal owner of said shed who don't understand what a "shed" is and the rituals and rites that accompany said shed and have ownership thereof. I shall email said document to my FIL for a stir , anything to stir FIL is worthy of such things)

May I add one point somewhere in your document, to the effect that owners of sheds and all that resides in it and by this ownership of a shed have unlimited rites of visitation rites to said shed at any given time of day for any length of time regardless of anything else that needs to be done, even be it for the purpose of leaning to ponder and think.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Shed attire, well for me that counts as jeans with at least one hole on the left leg of my jeans (somehow all my jeans I wear in the shed wear a large hole on the left leg :confused: ), shirt and now jumpers with paint all over them (all your fault Skew)

You have a problem with waterproofing? It's a good way to determine which paints & finishes have penetrating power though, innit? If it falls off my clothes in the wash, it doesn't go anywhere near my wood.

And now my shed attire has become usual garb for when I'm working my day job, it's only when I see clients that I look respectable. My shed attire also transends to going down to Bunnies or other places.

So, is this corelation of shed attire and lack of caring what the general public thinks of how we dress reflect back on us or do we really care what they think? After all you can't judge a book by its cover.

It's called "a cunning plan." Now that your office is in the shed (how's it going, BTW?) if you were wearing a zoot-suit during working hours it's a dead give-away to SWMBO when you slip a few mins of shed time in. But once she gets used to seeing you getting about the office in your shed clothes, well... I can't very well imagine her getting upset about a spot of white-out on your flannel shirt.

Accusations of "You've been working in the office when you should be playing in the shed!"?? I don't think so, Ollie.

[Waldo]

"You've been working in the office when you should be playing in the shed!"?? I don't think so, Ollie.

G'day Skew,

Little did I relaise that when SWMBO told me to thence out of house and build office in shed that it would open up so many possibilities.

As far as progress goes: the external walls are on, ceiling is up and fully plastered, 2 coats of undercoat are done on celing as of tonight and top coat goes on tomorrow.

Currently working out colour schemes and fittings and about to get the sparky in.

[Ian007]

Don't see the problem, Ian. I would refer you to sub para 8.3.6.7

'Anything that you can ignite ....'

Cousin Jack would qualify, surely?


Col

A point to note, a mixed drink will not ignite and jacks does not burn very well, I know I tried last night.

and Beer has bubbles so does that make it a chaps drink??

[Cliff Rogers]

Don't be so bloody picky or you'll get ya self chucked out of the shed.....
Beer is beer.
It doesn't matter if it has bubbles or was made from cherries, it is still beer. (just don't get caught with one of those little umbrellas in it unless you are horribly sheyetfaced drunk or looking for a fight. )
Shut up & drink it.

[Driver]

Thanks to everyone who is contributing to this thread. All your contributions are very welcome and they are providing useful debate and discussion.

To answer some of your concerns

Dan – great work on the issue of clothing (aka shed attire). Some of your suggestions are very worthwhile and some perhaps a bit too narrowly-defined. However, they will certainly be heavily featured in the next set of revisions. (No sign of Angelina yet, by the way, I think she might have stood me up).

Skew – a bandanna shall not constitute a scarf – that’s got to be a given. Bandannas are blokely attire, no question. Scarves are worn by chaps.

Waldo – you raise an important issue re visitation rights – this will be included.

Ian007 – Don’t burn it, mate. Drink it. And Cliff’s got a point : beer is beer. The fact that beer is so manifestly a prominent part of the list of Blokely drinks (sub para 8.3.6) overrides any doubts about it’s alleged status as a Chap’s drink (sub para 8.3.7). It may contain bubbles but bubbles in beer are demonstrably and obviously blokely bubbles. The kind of bubbles being referred to in sub para 8.3.7.4 are similar in nature to the balloons Ozzy Osbourne meant when he said:

“Balloons, Sharon? ####in’ balloons? I can’t have ####in’ balloons on stage with me, Sharon! I’m supposed to be the Prince of ####in’ Darkness!”

The latest revisions will be incorporated and an updated version of the Code of Practice issued – probably tomorrow.

Keep ‘em coming!

Toodle pip!

Col

[Waldo]

G'day Driver,

Look forward to the next revision.

This should be included in Best of the Best, and seconders to pass my motion?