I Really Cracked It Last Night!

[meerkat]

Adrian, nobody here is condoning the abusers behaviour, it is sick and abhorent. I know someone that knows of an abuser, the victim told them what happened.

That person went and spoke to legal people etc and was told that the victim had to bring it out not them. Tough cross to bear. Guess what the "alleged" abuser was a close family member.

I'm not suggesting we stop this campaign to make people aware, what I am suggesting is that there needs to be balance.

Heres another view, I agree to some extent that it's better not to get raspberries and not get the other. But what are children losing in the meantime, quality time with their parents ? What effect will that have on them and society later on?

What will happen when a little girl grows up and meets a good man (there are a few of us around and does want to give her raspberries and then she starts to not trust him, oops more divorces, more suicides because innocent men are labelled abusers.

See the issue is not whether we should/should not protect others, thats a no brainer, the issue is that we don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

Educate, explain why, show kids how to be careful with others, support the victims, punish the abusers.

Educate not discriminate.

Bleedinthumb, are you saying the vets deserved to be spat on ? Ostricised ? Unsupported ? IMO I don't believe you are.

But for those that do, take it up with your member of parliament don't take it out on the vets.

Oh wait it was the government that sent men and women to war, oh wait that same member most probably doesn't really appreciate the sacrifice those people made.

Like many people, I certainly have nothing to apologise for, I had nothing to do with it so why should an elected official representing me apologise for me on my behalf ? Does it hurt to do it, sorry is just a word, will that really make up for the hurt, no. What will is action, recognition, support etc.

I think we are basically on the same wavelength, maybe we are looking at it from different angles.

I think this thread has derailed itself from the original issue so maybe I should just shut up

[Eddie Jones]

That would be because between 85% to 95% of all abuse is perpertrated by males. Doesn't take much research on the net to figure that out.

None of the nuns in the Catholic Church around Chicago were found guilty of sexual abuse charges emanating from that infamous enclave.

Ask yourself this. Who would you rather have look after your 10 yo child on a school camp. A male monsignor or a female teachers aide?

Namtrak,

You're right, it doesn't take much research.
Try http://mdsasupport.homestead.com/files/fpsa.html That was the first hit on my Google search. They reckon 25% of perpetrators are women. I'm willing to bet that other sites would say even higher. So just where do you get your figure of 15%? Just pluck 'em out of the air like so many on this forum?

Eddie

[dazzler]

Don't go through the forum, Dazzler, give him your number.

he said: "please stop calling or I will take out a restraining order..."
:confused:

[meerkat]

Geez Eddie, talking about an eye opener, while I haven't read it all it's certainly surprised me and 25% is female/female according to this site. What % is female/male ?

"Finally, and most importantly, female-female abuse is a topic which needs to be researched and spoken about, so that survivors can receive the support, information and validation that they deserve, and little girls who are brave enough to tell, may one day be believed."

Maybe the media could run an article or something about this too.

Sorry I forgot I was gonna keep quite

[meerkat]

he said: "please stop calling or I will take out a restraining order..."
:confused:

rofl

[kekemo]

Mother of 3 boys & 1 girl........from and abusive backgroud.....so I am extremely aware.....over protective but not overbaring.....you have to teach your children to be aware .... to even be suspicious....it keeps them vigilant...but not to taint their lives it is very hard...

My late husband was so supportive & understanding we discussed these type of matters all the time...to us 99% of males around us are great wonderful supportive sensitive & friendly...........It's that tiny 1% that we have to be aware of....don't those barstards just spoil it for the rest.......

But how do we react to abuse when you see it with out getting your self into a situation you cant controll..........
It happens every day......go to a shopping centre & see mothers yelling or hitting their children........the low social economic enviroment breeds this....even nutures it...its terrible...you know that some of these mothers should just not have kids....how do we deal with it...do we walk up and say something, not likely you would end up flat on you face....but who is going to speak out for the children.........we need a police force that is out there among the population...police on the beet...or at least around society...not in there cars picking up someone for going 5klm over the limit....put them where they are needed....
Protecting our children starts with the mothers...........can't blame all men...sorry........but where do we stop it....I have taught my sons to respect women, defend & potect them from any & all voilence...No matter who....BUT above all the respect & protection of children is a must....
regard Kekemo

[meerkat]

Will someone please restrain me !!!

Kekemo, thank you for your response, what you have said in such a small space is wonderful

Thank you.

[dazzler]

Hi kekomo

what you say is dead right. dont agree with the policing issue though as imo that is after the fact and would need a cop in every home.

This is my exp in law enforcement. I have used guesstimates based on what I have seen/monitored specific to child/wife abuse in all forms;


The bad man looking for kids to abuse in the community .5%

Father/grandfather/uncle 70%

Trusted family friend 20%

Sibling with mental disorder 9%

Rapist stalking the community .5%

As I say very rough guesstimates but based on reported crimes that I see on the system everyday in my current role.

Sadly the home is THE most dangerous place for a child and sadly a wife. In 20 years of policing I have only seen 1 case where a women was beating up on a bloke and she was more bloke than a bloke anyway.

I have no problems with the Govt slamming us with these ad's and if it makes some of us uncomfortable, and we have nothing to hide, then forget it and move on.

I have a pretty hard view on child molesters and that is that they need to be removed from society so that the ongoing trauma is stopped for good. Most abusers have been abused themselves and so the sad cycle continues. There needs to be a place, an island perhaps, where they can live out thier lives in relative comfort, not talking about punishment, so that it ends.

cheers

dazzler