Telemarketers!

[Coldamus]

just wondering why on earth a computer wants to talk to my (non-existent) answering machine? :confused:

Mick

Maybe it wants a date! Better be careful or the microwave will get jealous and burn your pancakes.

regards
Coldamus

[CarpeNoctem]

For years I have been plagued with TM callers. I've tried screening calls, only to have family members call with 'blocked' numbers etc, I've tried being civil, I've tried being nasty, and it seems nasty is the only way to get resolution.

For the past couple of years I have tried a couple tactics that gets me chuckling.

1. Press the issue of getting payment for your time and equipment. As we are all aware of telephones are neither free nor cheap. In addition, you must pay fees to use them. And of course there is our God given gift of time, which is limited to an unknown frame. If you want to get creative, think of your building expenses, mortgage, utilities, etc. All this together in the business world is called overhead. The expense to perform day-to-day operations. Don't worry about offending anyone, this is normal proceedure in the business world. Once you figure out the expenses, you have a dollar amount. To demand everytime they call. So when they call, immediately and cheerfully ask for the accounts payable department. When you are given the 'Huh???' or 'We don't give that out' or 'I don't know' immediately ask for the manager. And then repeat with them. Explaining that you value your time, efforts, equipment etc, and you have placed a monetary value on it. And you are just performing normal business practices in obtaining your due compensation for your services. And don't think questionaires are harmless, businesses pay top dollar for your information that never gets to you. Therefore, your information has worth. If you think about it, you could theoretically file a law suit against information brokers for never compensating you on selling your information. Think of that class action, everyone in the US against a single broker, then another... LOLOL

You usually won't get anywhere with the above tactic, but neither will they if you keep pressing YOUR agenda with them (not vice versa)

2. This one is classic in the sense that you won't loose any more time with them other than to answer and listen a few seconds, but they will loose tons of time. And this one is where it's at, because time is money and no one likes wasting time; so this one hits em where it hurst. When they call, listen carefully and give the kudos in the form on ooo's ahhh's grunts and wow's. Make sure they think they have you. Right before they require something from you, kindly ask them to hold on while you get your signifigant other, because they have the checkbook, credit card, decision making authority, whatever. As they hold, just set the phone down on the table BUT do NOT hang up. You want them to hold on as long as possible. Just check the phone, in say 15 minutes. Usually they are gone, but if you played a good part in the oo's and ahh's you may have a whopper at the end of the line still. LOL in such a case, make an excuse and see if they'll hold longer. LOL

The above two items won't cut back on the calls, but it may make them fun for you.

3. Call your local, state and federal representatives and complain. I mean really complain. Don't think you are bothering anyone, or your are asking something extraordinary. It's their duty to listen to you. Don't worry about exageration either. Tell them you are sick and tired of the harasment you receive and tell them it should be against the law for anyone to cold call people anywhere. A person/company should only be permitted to call a person if they have immediate and direct business (personal or not) with them. Such as a doctor calling you with the results of a test, or a friendly reminder of an upcoming appointment. Or a local store calling you to notify you that your order has arrived. A company could call you to answer a direct request for information from you (I.e. you call an internet lumber firm and want to discuss a possible order). But after that conversation has concluded they have no right to call you under that pretense. and they shouldn't be able to call you about that topic if they fail to do so after a time frame, say three weeks.

-Rick

[Eugowra]

I usually tell them that I only give to one charity.......My Own ! Goodbye.

Wassa

[normell]

I usually answer the phone with
"City morge, you killem, we chillem"
or
"Fuller's woodyard, how many ton do you want"
Most times they hang up

Normell

[Waldo]

G'day,

I've given up being nice and saying, "no thanks", now if I hear a few seconds of silence followed by an Indian voice I just hang up. The latest ploy I've had is that they're not trying to sell me anything, yeah right! :mad:

[Sturdee]

I had one last week and before he could get into his spiel I asked him why he thought I was interested in talking to him or buying from him. Every time he started to say something I interrupted him and repeated my question.


After 10 minutes of this he finally hung up. He may not have liked it but I had fun.


Peter.

[BigPop]

After I have answered and get the usual spiel - I switch my phone onto speaker phone and don't answer them and just let them waffle on and then they start saying 'Hello' Hello' etc and then hang up. You can get a good laugh from them when no-one is answering their questions etc.

[savage]

G'Day All,

Sienfeld had a good one, he let them prattle on right to the end of the sales pitch and when they asked if he would be interested he replied yes he was very interested and hung up immediately after saying so!.. Probably doesn't work but to see him do it, I nearly cacked my pants laughing!...
savage(Eric)

[knucklehead]

I've tried it all.

Now I just start pushing the buttons on the phone while they are giving there spiel. They always hang up after 5 or 6 button pushes.

[Markw]

I just don't get any TM calls!!!
I have a silent number and have had one for the last 20 years.
I don't give out my home number to anyone commercially or for raffles or any other instance - not ever. In fact even the company I work for doesn't have my home number - my manager has it in case of an emergency only but not the corporate office. That's what the corporate mobile is for. Have you noticed that TM don't use mobile numbers yet? Possibly too expensive.
TM call number gathering is very sly in their activities and can include product registration to local hotel raffles to purchasing goods from some large multinational corporations. They all want your home number. Next time ask them for their privacy policy before handing over your number. This only works when you can't get the number from the white pages.

[Farm boy]

i was at a bucks night on saturday and one crafty freind was saying more than 3 calls a fortnight from these marketers is classed as harrasment and if you contact the telecomunication ombudsman and complain you will never get a call again.my mate has now gone for 9 months without a call from telemarketers after his talk with the ombudsman
cheers
greg

[Bodgy]

Sad thing is fellas, that Telemarketing actually works, as does junk mail. If it didn't work, they wouldn't do it.

At a couple of cents a call (these are all VOIP calls) and a bowl of rice a week wages for the poor buggers on the other end, you can make an awful lot of calls for that one mug punter who buys.

Say you allow a sales/marketing budget of 15% of revenue, then a Telco who makes, say, $1500 gross on a 2 yr pay TV contract, can allow, say, $150 to get that one punter. Say 60 calls a day per telemarketer (and thats the Australian benchmark, God knows what the Mumbai guys need to do) @ $0.10 per, $50 a week wages. That gives 2 weeks of calls or 600 calls. This is acceptable to get that one sale! (figures pretty rough off top of my head, but you get the idea!)
The only thing that will stop these calls is when people stop buying.

[kiwigeo]

G'day,

I've given up being nice and saying, "no thanks", now if I hear a few seconds of silence followed by an Indian voice I just hang up. The latest ploy I've had is that they're not trying to sell me anything, yeah right! :mad:

Waldo, Ive had that spiel from the TMs of late.

They tell me theyre not selling anything. I then point out that if theyre ringing up total strangers and theyre not selling anything then they're effectively making a nuisance phone call which is illegal in this country......thats usually when they hang up.

[kiwigeo]

I just don't get any TM calls!!!
I have a silent number and have had one for the last 20 years.

Mark I have a number of friends with silent numbers who receive TM calls. Alot of the TMs obviously use dialers that generate and dial numbers whether theyre in the phone book or not.

Cheers Martin

[namtrak]

Further to Telemarketers, my Brother in law has just sent me a recording of him talking to a telemarketer trying to sell him a new phone deal. He seriously takes the **** out of them for nearly 5 minutes!! Makes them press the hash key every couple of minutes because he likes listening to the sound it makes!!

If you want a copy, happy to forward it on but it is nearly 7 MB!!

Cheers