School Bullies

[AlexS]

Don't think I can add much to this that hasn't already been said. Silent, you are obviously approaching thiswith a lot of thought, and I hope come up with the best result, if there is one.

While I don't advocate violence (especially if it's likely to be returned) I can think of two examples that have worked. At school, we had a sadistic teacher (even by the standards of the 1950s-60s). Despite requests from parents, the principal wouldn't believe a teacher could be so bad - never thought to ask sthe students. So one parent took his son, they marched into the principal's office unannounced and the kid dropped his strides to show his black & blue bum. The teacher was warned that he had gone too far, so he started using 'crowpecks' - a hard thump on the head with his knuckle. The first time he tried it on with this kid, the kid king-hit the teacher, then marched straight to the principal's office and announced what he'd done. The teacher was moved on, probably to some other unfortunate school.

In the army, I only ever saw one perpetrator of bastardry - a crummy corporal at that. One night, about a dozenm of us tied him to a flagpole naked. But as it was midwinter, we didn't want him to freeze, so we left him a blanket. Only a yard or so away. This could probably have had us shot for mutiny, but I suspect that the higher-ups knew what he was like and nothing was ever said.

[dazzler]

I can remember a 'friend' who had a child who was very depressed due to bullying. He walked smiling up to the bully and said to him

"Bully again and i will sneak into your house and kill you"

No more bullying but often wonder how the bully ended up

[ian]

Dazzler
at my son's school any kid who retaliates by thumping the bully is in as much if not more trouble than the bully.

The principle adopted is that the bully must mend their ways or leave the school

ian

[ian]

Thanks for the input one and all. At this point we are "monitoring the situation".

On bullies in general ...

Silent,

these quotes come from the Education Department's web site

every student has the right to expect that he or she will spend the school day (both in and out of the classroom) free from bullying and intimidation.

Strategies to counter bullying form part of the school's implementation of the Student Welfare Policy.

all reported cases of bullying are invstigated

don't let your daughter's teacher shirk their responsibility


ian

[Driver]

At school, we had a sadistic teacher (even by the standards of the 1950s-60s).

The worst example of bullying I ever saw was at school (same era, Alex). We had a woodwork/metalwork teacher who was an absolute bastard. He was a big, muscular, angry thug. He picked on a kid in my class who, in different circumstances, would have been a target for a bully amongst the students. However the treatment he received from the teacher was so bad that it generated plenty of sympathy amongst the rest of us - so he was never targeted by students.

Towards the end of my time at school, the teacher was refereeing a house Rugby match (of final year students, 17-18 year-olds). His behaviour in the preceding weeks had been so bad that all 30 players conspired to rough him up. We took turns during the match to deliberately hammer into him, rake him with studs, "accidentally" fend him off with a closed fist in the face, etc. Just before half-time, I managed to drive head first into his guts on a blind-side run around a scrum. By then he had got the message. He stopped the game, sent me off and told the rest of the players that he would "take serious action" against the next player that made contact with him.

At half-time, the headmaster had arrived to watch proceedings. He grilled me as to why I had been side-lined and I told him I had made accidental contact with the teacher. Immediately after half-time the biggest kid in the school, who was playing flank-forward for my team, collected the referee across the throat with an "accidental" coat-hanger. This kid was 6'-6" and about 14 stone. The teacher dropped like an empty sock and had to be taken to the sick room for treatment.

We all expected to be in trouble. Oddly, nothing was ever said.

Several years later, I ran across another teacher from the old school and he brought up the subject of that house match. He remembered I had been playing and that I was sent off. His comment about the bullying bastard was that he and his colleagues were surprised it had taken us so long to take revenge.

Darren, I hope you and your wife and daughter can work this out. My daughter, who is now 28, copped some bullying from a neighbour's son. My girl is a happy soul without a vicious bone in her body. The option of teaching her to hit back was never on. I confronted the kid who was doing the bullying - in front of his parents - and told him that if he so much as looked at my girl with a frown on his face, I would personally kick his @rse. His mother wasn't pleased but his father reacted quite well. The bullying stopped.

Two years ago, the same bloke had the bad luck to play football (Aussie Rules) on the opposing side to my daughter's little brother - who is actually not little at all. This was more than twelve years since the bullying had occurred but my son has a long memory. I didn't see the game but my son's mates tell me he delivered one of the best - entirely legal - shirtfronts they had seen. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold. My daughter pretended to be annoyed with her brother when she was told about it but we all know she was very proud.

[knucklehead]

Silent, with a very quite 7 year old girl of my own I can feel your pain.:mad:
As tempting as it is to vent my anger all over the key board, I'll refame and just add a couple of points.

1. Put your complaints in writting to the school and demand a response in kind. This is an instant notice to any offical that you are serious.

2. If no response from above, write directly to the parents.

3. Bullying is against the law. If the school fails in its duty of care to stop it, charge the bully with assault.

4. Allways try to keep the moral high ground, belting anyone will get you in a whole world of hurt.

[Stu in Tokyo]

Wow, what a subject!

I like Schtoo have kids here in Japan, now mine are a little older, 12 and 10, both lovely girls.

Yes we have had and still have problems with racists, simple minds. Straight up, we dealt with it.

The first time, my eldest, at the time about 8, was heckled all the way home from school, about a 10 minute walk. I was not around, when she came in, she was devastated, my wife was furious, I have never seen my lovely wife SO MAD, and I hope to never see it again :eek:

She called the school the next day, and the principal said he would talk to the boys. The four boys were all a year ahead of my daughter, but are actually smaller than her .

Well the next day, they did it again, but this time I was waiting, when they turned the last corner, my wife and I were standing there.

I told the boys, in a very level, very cool voice, that if they EVER made my daughter cry again, I would make them cry.....for....a.....very......long....time.

One of the boys actually wet himself

Did not lay a finger on them, just talked.

We then went to the school, and I walked into the principals office and I shouted the ####er down so loud, that the rest of the staff where hiding under their desks, I told him that if this was not dealt with NOW, he would have some REAL trouble with me, and I would get MAD. I called him a coward and a liar, as he TOLD my wife he would take care of it.

The next day, the principal, the four boys, and four dads came to our shop and apologize to my daughter. We have not had a problem since.

I have to say, the most important thing we did, was to get involved at the school, my wife has been a member of the PTA for years now, and I go and help out all the time, at sports days etc. I know all the teachers, and they know me, I know most of the kids, and they know me.

This is really the best thing we can do, the kids know who we are, and the stories got around about what happened the last time one of my kids was bullied, so we are dealing with it.

I got bullied in school, my dad told me to punch the guy in the face and then put my head between my knees and kiss my ass goodbye

I took a few shots before we got pulled apart, but I gave the bully a bloody nose,　 and he did not bully me again. Then just to add to the whole "revenge is a dish best eaten cold" line of thought, a few years later, when we played (American) football together, same team, he was a running back, I was a defensive lineman, we got to do 3/4 speed tacking drills

I once hit him at the belt level, picked him up, and planted him in the ground, and then stepped on him when I got up....... of course by then I was about 85Kg and he was all of 60Kg.

Silent C, don't worry about stepping in on your daughter's behalf, yes she has to deal with some stuff herself, for sure, but you, sir, are her father, and you cannot do it wrong if you are defending her from physical harm, not in my book anyway, just do not leave any marks, or have any witnesses

Tough situation for sure, hope it works out.

Sorry for the longwinded reply!

[Schtoo]

I told the boys, in a very level, very cool voice, that if they EVER made my daughter cry again, I would make them cry.....for....a.....very......long....time.

One of the boys actually wet himself

Stu, if you said that to me, I'd prolly wet myself too. :eek:

[Stu in Tokyo]

Stu, if you said that to me, I'd prolly wet myself too. :eek:

Maybe when you were nine

You know how they say "I'm going to hit you so hard your dog will bleed" well I tried to translate that once, to a Japanese friend......... wow, that was two hours well spent..... Nope, he did not get it

How are you doing anyways Papa?

Cheers!

[Sturdee]

1. Put your complaints in writting to the school and demand a response in kind. This is an instant notice to any offical that you are serious.

.

Whilst I would advocate the other option, if you are going to do the above also sent a copy to the department's regional office and mark your letter to the school accordingly.

Amazing how quickly and efficiently a school principal will act when they realise that someone much more senior is being kept informed of their action.


Peter.

[bennylaird]

Most teachers will be doing the right thing, sometimes they just get given too much.
An "extra needs" student can be hard work, no control in class, hurting other students and then when removed to the principles office just keeps calling her an effing female dog. Sometimes this process of integrating these sorts of kids is all wrong.

[DanP]

IMO, "extra needs" students (your terms not mine), belong in an extra needs students school. That is the only way they have of fulfilling whatever potential their parents have allowed them. Bully kids will not stop. They might stop with the few who stand up to them but then they just find a weaker target.

Never rest on this issue Darren. If you have no joy with the teacher, go to the principal. If you have no joy with the principal, go the the next link and so on. Find out how to get in contact with his parents and follow up with them if you think you might acheive something with them. However, if he is a typical bully, his parents will probably just flog him and he'll be in a worse position than before.

I wish you well Silent. My eldest starts 3YO kinder next year :eek:

Dan

[silentC]

My only fear at the moment is that, because she didn't want us to go to the teacher, and then she saw us there talking to her, she may clam up now. She was all smiles yesterday. She has seven cousins at the same school, one is a boy in year 4. I'm going to have a chat to him on the weekend and get him to keep an eye on her. I said to the missus maybe we should get him and a couple of his mates to pay young Reece a visit. Just joking! I don't want him to get involved physically but at least he can tell me if anything is going on.

[jmk89]

My only fear at the moment is that, because she didn't want us to go to the teacher, and then she saw us there talking to her, she may clam up now. She was all smiles yesterday. She has seven cousins at the same school, one is a boy in year 4. I'm going to have a chat to him on the weekend and get him to keep an eye on her. I said to the missus maybe we should get him and a couple of his mates to pay young Reece a visit. Just joking! I don't want him to get involved physically but at least he can tell me if anything is going on.

Good idea. Information is the most important thing. Then when you know what has been going on, you can let your daughter know that you know the true story. Then you have a chance of finding out what is really the problem.

Good luck. As I said before, I am not looking forward to dealing with this if and when it becomes an issue for my kids.

[bennylaird]

These bullies have to much Bejesus. Just need to beat it out of them?