The Code of Practice

[RETIRED]

All flat surfaces no matter how narrow, wide or long are deemed to be storage or work areas, this includes lathes, machines (table saws etc), cabinets or tables being built and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

[jmk89]

... and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

make that ".. and the mate (or any other visitor) or his car bonnet...."

[RufflyRustic]

....snip.....
Wendy will NEVER get me to wear that red leather outfit... MOVE ON!!

ooh oops wrong thread

ahem... where was I? damn lost the thread of thought or was that chain of thought? red leather of thought? DAMN YOU WOMAN!!! :eek:

If 'red leather' and such is going to be hung on the walls of sheds, consider rigging an emergency cover for them. Beware the who finds them, doesn't like them and gets rid of them for you and anything else in her way at that time.....


cheers
Wendy

[Driver]

OK. Here's a first draft. It's quite a long document. No apologies for that. This is important stuff and it contains contributions from many very serious intellects (see earlier posts).

I've protected it so that if you add anything the additions can be tracked. However, I suggest that you simply post any suggested additions into this thread.

This is a work in progress. All suggested additions and amendments are welcome - indeed they are encouraged. This is our Code of Practice. Let's make it a good one!

Col

[Driver]

All flat surfaces no matter how narrow, wide or long are deemed to be storage or work areas, this includes lathes, machines (table saws etc), cabinets or tables being built and the mates car bonnet if he stays too long.

Sorry , missed that one . However, it's an excellent contribution and it will be added to the Code!

[Pat]

Driver, a concise document. You should be rewarded for your efforts!

[Andy Mac]

Mate that is truly a document of erudite wisdom and perception! I picked up only one spelling mistake (a "look" instead of "like"), but really a top effort! well done.
Now to have it printed and laminated...but where to put the thing...it won't fit under the "Good Shed" award, I'm not moving the Angelina Jolie calendar, and maybe I don't drink VB anymore, but the advertising placard is sacred!


Cheers,

[Cliff Rogers]

Top effort.

Appendix A, item 7, 4th word should be 'never'

[Felder]

A seriously impressive document, Col - a real credit to yourself and the Forum.

Now I know that we aren't supposed to get into too much religious discussion here, but..................I think I've found a new bible.....

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Is that anything like p'd upon?:confused:

Exactly. "You push my buttons, I'll punch yours."



My only problem now is finding a sheet of timber big enough to rout the Code into. I wonder if an outside wall counts as a plaque?

[Glenn_M]

Driver, whilst I totally agree in spirit I have one small problem....the ban on

"Any drink containing cherries."


I'd like to apply for an exemption. My other waste of time, sorry hobby, is brewing and a favourite brew is a Belgian Lambic style beer of which cherries are a critical component.

Unfortunately some other Lambics also contain fruit of other varieties but I swear they are never served with umbrellas!

So can I have an exemption or am I covered by the fact that it's a beer and therefore allowed under 8.3.6 Blokey Drinks?

Cheers,
Glenn

[Driver]

I'd like to apply for an exemption. My other waste of time, sorry hobby, is brewing and a favourite brew is a Belgian Lambic style beer of which cherries are a critical component.

Glenn

I'm not the arbiter of issues to do with the Code of Practice. I have merely participated - along with other august members of these forums - in drafting it. How a bloke should interpret the Code is a matter for the bloke - in this case - you. So, rather than reply, I will refer you to the Code of Practice

para 3 - Definitions

sub para - 3.1 [Bloke- a bloke is the owner, occupier and user of his shed.

and

sub para 3.2 Shed - a shed is the domain, demesne and realm of a bloke.

(One way to interpret these sections of the Code would be to say that what a bloke does in his shed is - up to a point - up to him).

So can I have an exemption or am I covered by the fact that it's a beer and therefore allowed under 8.3.6 Blokey Drinks?

Looks to me like you've answered your own question, mate. I will, however, take issue with an inaccuracy in your quoting the relevant paragraph from the Code. You use the word 'Blokey'.

Banish this abhorrent term from your lexicon, son!

It's a word used by women to denigrate blokes and our activities. The correct term is 'Blokely'. More accurate, I think you'll agree. And it possesses the virtue that you're unlikely to hear a woman use it.

'Blokely'. Practise it: 'Blokely'. That's it! All together now: 'BLOKELY!!!!'

Thanks for the question, Glenn. You've given a practical demonstration of the value of putting some shape to the Code of Practice. Goodonya!

Col

[Driver]

Top effort.

Appendix A, item 7, 4th word should be 'never'

Ginger

It's a rare day when you and I disagree but mate, read that section again. If the word 'never' was to be inserted in place of 'ever' we'd have a double negative. To whit

"No bloke shall never be required etc ..."

Tsk, tsk. My old English teacher would revolve about her vertical axis, mate!

Toodle pip!

Col

[Bodgy]

Dear Aunty Agony Driver

I am in a quandry. I have always thought of myself as a non PC, non black armband, un metro sexual, rude, crass slob. As such I felt a warm kinship to your 'Charter of Shed Rights'

However, I have just experienced a stabbing pang of angst.

I often burn incence in the shed, when alone with my tools and the wood.

Have I turned into a pillow biter, nascient politician, limp wristed Chardonnay socialist, PC dyke, Caroline Jones, Richard Jones, local Government councillor, Kofi Annan or a Public Servant soccer fan? Has Fat Kim got the hots for me?

Is this deviant sort of revanchism OK with the blokes? I could seek treatment!

Please advise.

[scooter]

Great job Col !

Love Appendix A Rule 24


Cheers.................Sean