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Thread: Miss Adventures
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30th March 2006, 01:48 AM #16Originally Posted by Auld Bassoon
My misadventures?
Started 31 years ago, no signs of abating just yet.
Not mentioning anything specific, other than having spent at least one night in a nuthouse under lock and key.
Well, mum had to keep me safe from all the other loonies there, even the ones who collect a paycheck. :eek:
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30th March 2006, 08:55 AM #17
I have never ever ever done any thing stupid...... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL....... apart from aforesaid statement of course!
Now just how many times have I launched my boat without the bungs?
How many saw stools have I sawn in half?
How many power cords have I "shortened"?
How many times have I backed up quickly..... forgetting about the trailer I am towing?
Etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
How bloody long could this list be????
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30th March 2006, 09:07 AM #18
My common misadventure is, hopefully was now, being missed. Being missed by the bus even though I was standing at the bus stop waving at the bus, my parents forgetting to pick me up from a music lesson, the whole grade 10 class and three teachers leaving me behind at the careers night........ Not very nice when we lived about an hour and a half away from where I happened to be when missed and I was 15 or younger...... Still, I wasn't the one who had to turn around and drive another 1.5 hours to pick me up
RR
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30th March 2006, 09:29 AM #19
I was the passenger in this ancident not the driver, mid 60's, passenger in an MGB on our way up to Mt Buller, top down tailgating a cattle truck.
Bull at rear must have been suffering dysentry, say no more....................Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.
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30th March 2006, 09:36 AM #20Originally Posted by IainTwo things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe.
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30th March 2006, 10:05 AM #21
I have thought of a few more (again not me thankfully) - I think I got my stupidity out of the way nice and early by almost killing myself three or four times before my second birthday... (i.e. Jumping into pools and literally turning blue and stopping breathing, getting a SERIOUS whack on the head, getting third degree burns over most of my body - I have a lot to thank Adelaide Children's Hospital for that I am not terribly scarred).
Anyway, onto funnier (and only slightly less gruesome)...
1. My girlfriend (of almost nine years) has a mum who is slightly prone to silly behaviour. Now, sure, she has had a lot of car accidents and little things like that (usually at very slow speeds), but Auld Bassoon reminded me of this one. She was asked to fend off a boat, decided that her thumb would make as good a fender and anything, so she left it there... OUCH! (This was before I knew her).
2. Her (the mum's) partner of many years was cutting some bricks using a large angle grinder. Managed to cut through his steel cap boots and left a rather large gash across his foot. He is usually OK with tools, but sometimes he is a *little* careless...
3. Now this one is a doosie! This one had the whole hospital in stitches (pun intended).
You know Bamixes? (you all nod your heads in an apprehensive way)...
You know the mincing attachments? (you all nod your heads grimacing slightly)...
You all know better than to hold the Bamix by the cutter when you plug it in? (you all make a horrible face)...
Well, lets just say that the switch on the wall was on, the Bamix was on and the cutter wasn't designed to go through bone. The Bamix came to a stop (blade inserted firmly into finger) and it was then turned off...
My mother-in-law to be (at some stage I would guess - although it isn't official yet) took the whole contraption to the hospital producing large quantities of blood and was rushed straight through. Whilst they were prepping though an inordinately large number of medical staff came by to "check up on the patient" before leaving with hard to conceal smirks on their faces.
She was actually fine but apparently it was a fluke. By probability she should have managled the nerves in that fingers entirely. Now she is absolutely fine.
Funny how often a horrible sorry ends with no real side effects, and then some poor guy or gal does something silly for the first time in their life and that is it...
Cam
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30th March 2006, 10:09 AM #22Originally Posted by Phil SpencerI may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
My Other Toys
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30th March 2006, 10:16 AM #23Originally Posted by Gra
PhilTwo things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe.
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30th March 2006, 12:49 PM #24
Doing a survey years ago, we had to get over an electric fence. I checked that it was working - back of the hand, quick touch. Yike. The bloody thing was set for wild steers. I mentioned this to me chainman who, not wanting to miss out, reached out and GRABBED the thing :eek:
Couldn't get him within ten feet of an electric fence after that
Richard
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30th March 2006, 01:25 PM #25
19 years old, a new pair of strides were nearly a weeks wages for an apprentice, all done up in new strides to go to the footy with mates, out of smokes, onto the motorbike and down to the shops, return trip there is a spunky chick on footpath right where I do a sharp turn around a silent cop, show off lays the bike real low, collects silent cop, roots trousers, roots leg, ego takes a hell of a bashing, girl dissapears into ditance laughing head off.
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30th March 2006, 01:52 PM #26
20 years ago, heading south across Sydney Harbour bridge on the motorbike, about 8pm. Decide to change lanes just past the Kirribilli on ramp, thinking that the white line I can see is painted on. It's actually a raised median strip about 6" wide and 8" high. Lay down bike in front of a woman coming up the ramp. She's more shaken up than I am, she thought she was going to run me down. Big hole in knee of jeans, big hole in toe of ugg boot.
"I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
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30th March 2006, 02:02 PM #27Originally Posted by CameronPotter
I've already said this one elsehwere but its worth repeating :
Got drunk, fell asleep in wheelbarrow, mates filled it with sand and water. bastards!Zed
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30th March 2006, 03:15 PM #28Originally Posted by Iain
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30th March 2006, 03:49 PM #29Originally Posted by Iain
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30th March 2006, 03:53 PM #30
Went for an outing with the olds a few years ago. Bought some prawns and headed for a picnic table to have a cuppa. Wife rips the head off a prawn and a lovely big glob of prawn guts shoots out the end, describes a lovely arc through the air, and lands right in the old man's cup of tea just as he's raising it to his lips. "I was looking forward to that" he says. She's never lived it down...
Last bird that did something like that to the old man was the ex. There was a blowie in the house, so she picks up the can of Mortein, tracks the blowie through the air and opens fire - just as it flies past the old bloke's face. Gives him both barrels. She turns bright red, I collapse on the floor, and he looks at her, squints his eyes, snorts out through his nose and says "what did you do that for?".
Same woman, I was in hospital with a broken heel and there was another guy about 50 or so across from me with the same injury. His missus comes in to see him every day, as does mine. We all get chatting one day, and my ex says to him "you're lucky your mum comes in to see you so much". His missus says "sorry, what did you just say?" I'm looking for a hole to crawl into and the ex, not satisfied with the one she's dug for herself blurts out "you're his mum aren't you?" Jeez! I had to leave her after that one..."I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
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