fuel prices...

[Boringgeoff]

About thirty or so years ago when the fuel prices went up through the roof, one of the big nationwide transport companies lowered the speed of their fleet from 100kmh to 90kmh, thereby saving hundreds of thousands of dollars in fuel costs. Anecdotally they put signs on the back of their trailers saying, "If you see this vehicle exceeding 90 kmh please ring this phone No 04.......34"
We may be able to get this thread back on track as a joke.
Bill was following a roadtrain down the highway at just under 100kmh when he noticed the abovementioned sign on the back of the trailer. "By cripes I'll ring the number and dob this speeding mongrel in" thinks Bill and proceeded to dial the number on the sign. Unbeknownst to Bill the truckie had substituted his own mobile number for that of head office, so when his phone rings he answered it. T, "Hello, Interstate transport co, Gordon speaking, how may I help you?"
B. " Hello Gordon it's Bill here, I'm following one of your roadtrains heading for Perth and he's exceeding 90kmh, he's nearly doing a hundred!".
T. "Ok thanks Bill, now to identify which prime mover is actually towing the trailers there's a small three digit number below the phone number, we're sorry, it is quite small and you'll have to get pretty close to read it but we do need that number to go forward with this report".
Bill moves up on the truck, gets very close but can't see any number.
B. "Hey Gordon, I'm right on his tail but I'm blowed if I can see any three digit number."
The truckie stands on the anchors and says" how fast's he going now c.....andidate?"

Cheers,
Geoff.

[doug3030]

OK, Mates

You can save more fuel with common sense than almost anything else.

You are driving in the city at about 65. As you pass through an intersection you see the traffic light about a km away change to red. You have two options. Rush to the red light so that you can go when it changes to green. OR. Relax and coast up to the traffic light.

With the latter option you have to wait about 15 or 20 seconds before the light turns green. But all the fuel you saved is immeasurable. And as a bonus, the distance between brake pad exchanges is significant.

I have been caught behind people who do exactly that and it is a big inconvenience to many others on the road. For example just the other day I was behind someone who drove the last 200 metres up to the red light at about 10 km/hr and getting slower the closer they got, hoping it would go green before they got there. Unfortunately for them - and everyone else caught behind them the lights are sensor activated. They were not going to change no matter how long he took to get there. The time for them to change did not start until he got right up to the line and triggered the sensor.

I wasn't even going through the lights but I had to wait behind this idiot until I could go into the "turn left anytime with care" lane and then go around the corner.

[Chris Parks]

I have been caught behind people who do exactly that and it is a big inconvenience to many others on the road. For example just the other day I was behind someone who drove the last 200 metres up to the red light at about 10 km/hr and getting slower the closer they got, hoping it would go green before they got there. Unfortunately for them - and everyone else caught behind them the lights are sensor activated. They were not going to change no matter how long he took to get there. The time for them to change did not start until he got right up to the line and triggered the sensor.

I wasn't even going through the lights but I had to wait behind this idiot until I could go into the "turn left anytime with care" lane and then go around the corner.

When driving trucks I always tried to time the light change to avoid stopping and it is something I still do in a car as well. In traffic jams I set the manual throttle to a slow speed and very rarely had to stop just letting the gap open and close due to the traffic in front stopping and starting. My car I drive now steers and stop/starts automatically so traffic jams have become a non event apart from the inconvenience of course.

[doug3030]

When driving trucks I always tried to time the light change to avoid stopping and it is something I still do in a car as well. In traffic jams I set the manual throttle to a slow speed and very rarely had to stop just letting the gap open and close due to the traffic in front stopping and starting. My car I drive now steers and stop/starts automatically so traffic jams have become a non event apart from the inconvenience of course.

I have a HR license and used to drive trucks too. There's a big difference in trying to play the lights so you don't have to stop, which I did at appropriate times, and driving up to a sensor activated light at a ridiculously slow speed expecting the light to somehow change before the sensor is activated.

[woodPixel]

Given that movement/IR sensors, cameras, 5g and other smarts are so cheap, its amazing that the busier bits of town are not run by an AI.

imagine having an active real-time traffic management system that "sees" vehicles and manages the fluid movement of all in an optimised manner.

Nothing irritates me more than the stupidity of the traffic system. Its stone aged.

[LanceC]

Given that movement/IR sensors, cameras, 5g and other smarts are so cheap, its amazing that the busier bits of town are not run by an AI.

You may find this interesting as to the level of complexity that can be achieved to keep traffic flowing.

[ian]

Given that movement/IR sensors, cameras, 5g and other smarts are so cheap, its amazing that the busier bits of town are not run by an AI.

imagine having an active real-time traffic management system that "sees" vehicles and manages the fluid movement of all in an optimised manner.

Nothing irritates me more than the stupidity of the traffic system. Its stone aged.

Hardly stone aged WP.

Have a look at these two sites. AI has been there controlling traffic signals since at least the early 1980s. The "problem" is that the signals are not just on the route you alone drive but represent a coordinated network and the AI tries to optimise the performance of the entire network.
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Sydney Coordinated Adaptive Traffic System - Wikipedia
.
.
Edit, the first link may display as ERROR, but, at least on my PC, the link does work

[AJ.]

I have a HR license and used to drive trucks

As this is in the jokes thread I have to say that I think it’s adorable that you think you have driven trucks with a HR license

Cheers Andrew

[doug3030]

As this is in the jokes thread I have to say that I think it’s adorable that you think you have driven trucks with a HR license

Cheers Andrew

It was enough license for the trucks I was driving. That's all that mattered. Why be a dick about it?

[AJ.]

It was enough license for the trucks I was driving. That's all that mattered. Why be a dick about it?

because it’s a joke thread, which I pointed out to make it as obvious as possible that it was a joke, I even added a big green smiley face to emphasise that I was joking, but obviously some people have no sense of humour.

[Chris Parks]

Given that movement/IR sensors, cameras, 5g and other smarts are so cheap, its amazing that the busier bits of town are not run by an AI.

imagine having an active real-time traffic management system that "sees" vehicles and manages the fluid movement of all in an optimised manner.

Nothing irritates me more than the stupidity of the traffic system. Its stone aged.

Cars are now talking to traffic lights in Europe and have been for come years cars talking to trafic lights - Google Search

[doug3030]

because it’s a joke thread, which I pointed out to make it as obvious as possible that it was a joke, I even added a big green smiley face to emphasise that I was joking, but obviously some people have no sense of humour.

. .

badjoke.png

[woodPixel]

Well me hardies,

Don't go off the rails - we all soon get $250 extra in the xmas sock this year!

I'm going to buy half a a tank of U98, a few $9.90 cauliflowers, some of those bargain $5.50 lettuce and with any spare change go and buy a house instead of renting.


$2.40 petrol will be the LEAST of our problems this year.

Sigh.....

b6cd1oe6ggq81.jpg hfbtmoe6ggq81.jpg

[ian]

Well me hardies,

Don't go off the rails - we all soon get $250 extra in the xmas sock this year!

I'm going to buy half a a tank of U98, a few $9.90 cauliflowers, some of those bargain $5.50 lettuce and with any spare change go and buy a house instead of renting.

so is $250 enough of a bribe to get you to change who you will support in the May election ??

[Bushmiller]

so is $250 enough of a bribe to get you to change who you will support in the May election ??

ian

This jokes section is the perfect place to discuss that bribe as a paltry $250 is exactly what it is: A joke and to my mind an insult to boot as it is not even a halfway respectable bribe. It reminds me of my favourite story.

A man and woman meet in a bar and start chatting together and are getting on rather well. At some point in their conversation the man says,

"May I ask you a question?"

The woman replies "Okay."

"Would you sleep with me if I offered you a million bucks?"

She looks him up and down with an appraising eye and thinks to herself that he is quite good looking and if the truth was known she had been considering the prospect anyway and says "Yes. I would."

So he ponders a moment and then says "I'm a little strapped for cash at the moment. Would you sleep with me for a hundred bucks?"

She is instantly outraged, slams her hand down on the bar and says "What do you think I am?"

He replies with a grin, "We've already established that. We are just haggling over the price now."

A bribe is a bribe is a bribe...........

Regards
Paul