Shop lifting checks

[Bendigo Bob]

Thanks Dave, you gave me a good hearty chuckle today

[DaveVman]

Thanks Dave, you gave me a good hearty chuckle today

You are most welcome.

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[KBs PensNmore]

And you wonder why you are called Grumpy Old Men...

I represent that remark!!!!!

[ubeaut]

When asked how I'm going I often respond with "Why..... are you a doctor?"

Years ago we stayed a night at Crown in Melbourne with full breakfast included. Our waiter was very proper with beautiful English and pronounciation etc. as the breakfast ended he came to the table and improperly inquired... " 'Ave yous paid for this...?" my response "Yeah mate, we'z 'ave!" to which I got a bemused look that said huh, why are you talking like that. Definitely no tip for that bloke.

Go into almost any shop selling shoes and get greeted with "Youz right?" It's almost mandatory statement.

[chambezio]

I don't mind "How ya goin" at least its Australian.
I do hate "OK Guys what can we get you" when you go to a cafe/restaurant.
"How are things" what things? Or what are "things"
What about the kids serving at Maccas, they say "See you later" that's a lie. I have never seen them later
"G'Day Mate" Now that's Australian
"What do you know" is another one I don't mind. Its not really a question when taken in to context when said when first meeting that morning
We had an Apprentice who finished off his last 2 years with us. When you would say "How ya goin" first thing, all you would get was a grunt. I bumped into him years later and guess what ...He grunted. Must have been a family thing. He may have been more Neanderthal than human

I am dismayed with the influence of TV (American) sayings being used instead of "older" Australian words

[onetrack]

Ooohh, don't get me started on millenials face-to-face, social abilities performance. What about "Youz guys right?" .. or "Youz guys looking for sumfing"?

We aren't America, we don't live in America, we have our own language and expressions, and it's called the Queens English with a degree of Aussie flavour.

I detest the overwhelming and endless impact on our society of American culture. We've got youngsters who have adopted American "hood" greeting methods, with "hood-style" fancy Negroid "handshakes". What do they want? - for us to fully develop into Crips and Bloods, gang neighbourhoods?

Local cops tell me they round up juvenile offenders, and they start mouthing off about "pleading the 5th Amendment"! Give us a break!

School teachers reckon they nearly go insane trying to ensure that it's pronounced "skedule", not "shedule". Or that it's spelt "centre", not "center". Or that it's "flavour" and "humour", not "flavor" and "humor".

The problem is simply the one of constant overwhelming American assault via our electronic devices.
Type in a word and it wants to correct to American spelling. Google "Derby" - and unless you put "Derby, W.A.", you get Derby in Connecticut.
Even "WA" will immediately bring up every result associated with Washington State.

Anyway, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Just a GOM, reporting in from the Southern Hemispheres, 51st State of the Union. Ah'll see y'all, guys. High five with a double knuckle bump and shuffle.

NC teacher has unique handshake for each student | Daily Mail Online

[chambezio]

I am just fed up hearing "Man", "Bro", "COOL", Ooooh that really gets me. I grew up in a era that identified "cool" as a measurement of temperature and not the "add on" adjective to complement what ever subject. I would rather leave "cool" to Maynard G Krebs. The Beatnick from The Many Loves of Dobie Gillous. A sit com, yes from America, set in the 60s and following a young bloke who chased girls but never managed to catch any.

Of Maynard G Krebs, his father would give him a ticket to anywhere in the world.....one way!

[rrich]

I just learned something. Youse guys spell the plural of you as youz.

Even though I grew up in Brooklyn, my mother would box my ears every time I use the word "youse". There were so many other slang words that would upset her. Whether it be Yiddish, Italian or Spanish. My mother absolutely hated any slang of any kind.

[Tonyz]

'how are you today'
my response .... large hacking up fleme cough, smile and say "doc has given me 4 days, then every day after is a bonus, how you going? You having a good day? Enjoy your work?"

One shop person in Adelaide years ago got more than they wished for when the asked " how are you today?" I collapsed on the floor groaning and holding my gut, slowly got up (after she screamed and possibly wet herself) Iam OK nothing to worry about, then walked out with goods without paying......

[Bendigo Bob]

to the 'you right?' or 'you right there?' shop assistant question my answer is inevitably - 'no, only half right - half left too!'

I just LOVE the quizzical looks.

[Bushmiller]

I think "youse" has got a lot to do with being made popular by Jeff Fenech. You may remember that after he had just done his utmost to pummel a fellow human being to the canvas he would beam and say,

"I loves youse all!"

Many moons ago I used to undertake a workshop practice course in welding (not that too many would pick my education in that field) and my teacher, Dan, who was one of the best welders I have met, would look sympathetically at my work and ask in the most polite fashion would you like "us" to do that for you. He did not have a team of people waiting to do my work. It was his humble and most modest manner that was so endearing.

However, with greetings, I emulate an old uncle who is now in the woodworking shop in the sky. When greeted with the question "How are you?" he would reply.

"I'm alright; It's all the others!"

Regards
Paul

[Carry Pine]

I saw a large sign at a recycling place yesterday:

For Sale
Garden Knowm

At least he is having an attempt at the silent letters.

CP

[DaveVman]

I must admit to having some fun with shop assistants while being bored out of my brain out 'shopping' with the wife largely against my will.
They politely ask "can I help you?"
I reply. "No. It's too late for me. Save yourself."

"How are you?"
"I'm fine but the man in my head really should have taken his medication."

Stuff like that.


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[rwbuild]

Another one I use when they ask 'how are you' and I reply, 'I'll just check with my wife", for some reason they suddenly remember they have to be somewhere else....

[rustynail]

How are you? So far so good, but it's only lunchtime.