The Rip in the Fabric of the Universe ...

[ozwinner]

Dont breath in too deaply , or youll be affected too.


Al :confused:

[echnidna]

Gees Grunt. I reckon you might have had a little too much Chrissy cheer or maybe the weeds are growing well up there.

Sounds like grunt is downwind of a bushfire with Mary Jane plants in the middle of the fire!!!

[Iain]

Or sniffing shellac before the addition of the shellac

[Grunt]

Gees Grunt. I reckon you might have had a little too much Chrissy cheer or maybe the weeds are growing well up there.

Just the usual cocktail of amphetamines, opiates, cocaine and alcohol. You wait until I really get high.

[HappyHammer]

she failed to see the rope across the deck, over which she tripped breaking her neck. To most people this would be considered to be mildly debiliating however Ermintrude found it ...

...deadly as she had fallen head first into the runny shat on the deck which was just deep enough for her to drown in. "Thank fick for that" said the captain "those magic roundabout bastards keep popping up all over the place."

At that moment there was a dull thud and the sound of someone climbing into the boat. It was Mr Potato Head looking a little miffed at the large spring stuck to his head.

"Who threw this?" he demanded.
"It was the cow..." mumbled Zebedee.
"Someone get this off of my head" said MPH
"Where exactly is your head?" asked the captain.
"Are you taking the p1ss?" with that MPH.......

[Driver]

... was clapped in irons by the bosun and flung into the brig.

"No-one talks to the captain like that!" said the bosun.

"What's our course, steersman?" said the captain.

"Three points on the nor-east quarter, sir!" said Staines.

"Very well! Hold your course."

The captain resumed his intent stare into the middle distance, clutching his repair kit ...

[Driver]

Sally quietly closed the book and said:

"Now, children, I wonder if you can discern where this tale is leading us?"

"Up a blind alley, as usual!" muttered Farquar.

Henry sprang to his feet and, swotting Farquar about the ears with a rolled-up copy of The Times, cried: "Silence! You scurvy knave! Have you no respect for Miss Sally's sensibilities?"

At this, Farquar's mother (aka: The Mother Farquar, with good reason, as we shall see), shirt-fronted Henry, driving him into the carpet like a brad from the Sainted Norm's Porter Cable nailgun.

Sally quickly re-opened the book ...

[Iain]

just as it was lights out so she was not able to see anything anyway, with eager anticipation of dawn and first light she waited, then several hours later the first ray of sunlight shone into her abode and she saw.............

[ernknot]

that she had lost the page....

[Driver]

... which was a bloody nuisance because she had sent him to fetch her a pot of tea. The page, not realising that he was lost, was actually busily chatting up the best-looking of the parlour-maids.

Meanwhile, back on the quarter deck, the Captain ...

[Grunt]

was drinking his tea and contemplating the cabin boy. "Roger" thought the Captain " and what was his name again?"

Startling the Captain, a knock was heard at the door. "Captain, Captain come quick a Klingon Ship has been spotted on the starboard bow." urged Staines.

The Captain ...

[ernknot]

thought" Bloody Klingons spotting everything just like those damn seagulls over the washing line...."
He recovered from this sombre thought and realised that the Klingons had been spotted by someone on the ship. " Good " thought the captain " hope they had their washing out..." " What the ..." he said stumbling along until he was uptight against Roger who was bent over doing up his shoe laces ( he was really wearing thongs) ( on his feet) The captain hard up against Rger thought"............

[Driver]

..It would probably help this youth if we were to paint "Left" and "Right" on the toes of his boots. This would help him to remember that they are actually separate pieces of equipment, not designed to be tied together."

He swatted the cabin boy aside and strode onto the bridge.

"Och, Mr Spock!" he said. "Bring on the Klingons!"

With that ...

[echnidna]

Spock was about to act , when suddenly an almighty thunderclap happened and the entire sky turned orange and the hamsters all ......

[Iain]

started chanting Hari Krishna..........